Skip to main content

Minority Report

Review - Kristan cruises around wishing he didn't have to

Dark blue icons of video game controllers on a light blue background
Image credit: Eurogamer

Steven Spielberg's Minority Report was one of this year's better action movies, so it was of no surprise to discover that the enterprising Activision had snapped up the rights to make videogames based on the futuristic tale of pre crime operatives and elaborate stitch ups.

Recently released on all three next gen console platforms, (plus the GBA), the lead character is John Anderton, a pre crime officer who studies the findings of three psychics who, bizarrely, lay in a water tank hooked up to a machine that projects their thoughts onto a big screen that Anderton can manipulate in a futuristic kind of way that we don't really understand. These pre-cogs (as they're known) have the ability to predict when murders are about to take place, and thus the pre crime officers move in to stop these heinous acts taking place. And then promptly lock the would-be guilty away so they can cause no more trouble.

The first shot we ever saw - pretty much sums it up

You're a future murderer!

Trouble is, Anderton (played by Tom Cruise in the movie) discovers that he himself is going to commit a murder at some point in the near future, and is forced to go on the run to avoid permanent detention - but in the movie's high tech age this is easier said than done, with retina scanners capable of tracking individuals wherever they are, and jet pack powered cops swooping in from every direction to wrestle you off to chokey.

With an interesting take on the fugitive genre, it ought to have given Treyarch (developers of Spider-Man: The Movie, Shaun Palmer, Kelly Slater) plenty of inspiration to conjure more than your average movie license spin off. But you gamers should know by now that the chances of a decent movie tie-in game are about one in a hundred, so we approached Minority Report with more than a little scepticism.

Our initial feelings about the game went up a notch when we discovered the rare presence of a wide screen and surround sound option. But that's about as good as it got. Minority Report merely takes the escape element of the movie and makes a Final Fight style beat 'em up out of it.

Oh the humanity!

Stab that Square button as fast as you can

The controls are fairly familiar, for a third person action game, with the left stick controlling movement, and the right stick the camera. X punches, square kicks, circle blocks, triangle jumps, while L1 shoots, and R1 targets - with weapon select assigned to the D pad. A range of combos makes the combat look initially promising, but stabbing the kick button like a maniac seems to dispose of just about anything in the vicinity. And if that doesn't work, you can always pop them with some futuristic guns.

Weapons are generally dotted around, but normally with extremely limited ammo, so cautious use is advised. Anderton seems to be a fairly feeble chap, so you constantly have to keep a check on your health; otherwise you'll find yourself dead in a worryingly short space of time. Health pick-ups are also available, but armed enemies cause heavy damage so quickly you have to tread extremely carefully. If you fail, it's an annoying trip back to the very start of the level, with no mid level check points provided to cushion the blow of your (inevitable) failure.

Everybody runs... and everybody should quite frankly

Groundhog Day: The Game

Initial forays are pretty straightforward, with a few unarmed foes to dispatch, but the action soon gets tough after the first three or four levels, with robots manning the facility, followed by cops armed to the teeth. And once you've got possession of the jet pack, things get even tougher, with packs of cops capable of gunning you down in a matter of seconds. At this point, you really wonder why you're bothering, as the old school trip back to the start of a long, enemy strewn level just feels like gaming torture, Groundhog Day style. On level 5, it's actually possible to avoid half the enemies just by jet packing through them all, but Treyarch arbitrarily throws up obstacles for the player, forcing them to dispatch a set number of enemies before doors magically become unlocked.

You can collect cash lying around (which is mostly hidden in 'secret' areas), and buy ammo, armour, or better weapons, but you'll probably be halfway through the game before you have anywhere near enough to play with. The chances of you enjoying the experience long enough to even get halfway are pretty slim, believe us.

And we haven't even mentioned the graphics yet. The fairest thing to say would be that they're 'functional'. If we were being cynical, we'd say that they're the result of a rushed development cycle, whereby Treyarch were given a matter of months to churn out something that would be released just in time for the DVD release. If you turned back the clock a couple of years, this kind of low rent, low texture, low poly blandness would have probably been - just about - acceptable. It's no exaggeration to say that this wouldn't look out of place on a PSone.

Hmm, that looks like a pose recycled from Spider-Man - ho hum!

We've been spoiled

But the progression of technology is a harsh mistress, and sub standard offerings become the subject of much pointing and laughing by a community spoiled by (much) better things. Minority Report doesn't even try to be cutting edge in this department, with nothing truly terrible (ok the lens flare is comical), but nothing ever even remotely eye-catching. Even the colour scheme is death by blandness (at least the execrable Gungrave bothers to look good). The lack of Tom Cruise as John Anderton in the cut scenes is utterly predictable, but his digital replacement is so crushingly generic, with such piss poor voiceovers that you wonder whether the people responsible for this game even watched the film, it's so embarrassingly far from representing the real thing. If we hadn't watched the movie already, we would have no interest after witnessing these cut scenes.

As a game, the combat-centric nature of the gameplay bears little relation to the movie, and to somehow stretch out a 15 level game based on tiny snippets of the action is testing credibility to the limit. There are a ton of cool gadgets the developers could have employed, and a whole adventure element that would have suited the game perfectly, and done justice to what is a pretty decent movie. Instead Treyarch seems to have taken the 'churn it out quick' option with a laughable attempt at appealing to the lowest common denominator, but instead appealing to no-one but people who don't know any better.

How did it get released?

What you're left with is a punch, kick and throw marathon that bears more resemblance to early 90s side scrolling beat 'em ups from Capcom than a 21st Century action adventure on a next generation console. You'd think a publisher with a good reputation like Activision wouldn't want to be associated with such second rate titles - especially one attached to a high profile movie license.

If you fancy a couple of hours of entertainment, you'd be better off spending a few quid on renting the movie than burning £40 on this wasted opportunity to recreate the experience as a videogame.

Minority Report screenshots (PS2)

Minority Report screenshots (Xbox)

Minority Report screenshots (GBA)

Minority Report first look

3 / 10

Read this next

seductrice.net
universo-virtual.com
buytrendz.net
thisforall.net
benchpressgains.com
qthzb.com
mindhunter9.com
dwjqp1.com
secure-signup.net
ahaayy.com
tressesindia.com
puresybian.com
krpano-chs.com
cre8workshop.com
hdkino.org
peixun021.com
qz786.com
utahperformingartscenter.org
worldqrmconference.com
shangyuwh.com
eejssdfsdfdfjsd.com
playminecraftfreeonline.com
trekvietnamtour.com
your-business-articles.com
essaywritingservice10.com
hindusamaaj.com
joggingvideo.com
wandercoups.com
wormblaster.net
tongchengchuyange0004.com
internetknowing.com
breachurch.com
peachesnginburlesque.com
dataarchitectoo.com
clientfunnelformula.com
30pps.com
cherylroll.com
ks2252.com
prowp.net
webmanicura.com
sofietsshotel.com
facetorch.com
nylawyerreview.com
apapromotions.com
shareparelli.com
goeaglepointe.com
thegreenmanpubphuket.com
karotorossian.com
publicsensor.com
taiwandefence.com
epcsur.com
mfhoudan.com
southstills.com
tvtv98.com
thewellington-hotel.com
bccaipiao.com
colectoresindustrialesgs.com
shenanddcg.com
capriartfilmfestival.com
replicabreitlingsale.com
thaiamarinnewtoncorner.com
gkmcww.com
mbnkbj.com
andrewbrennandesign.com
cod54.com
luobinzhang.com
faithfirst.net
zjyc28.com
tongchengjinyeyouyue0004.com
nhuan6.com
kftz5k.com
oldgardensflowers.com
lightupthefloor.com
bahamamamas-stjohns.com
ly2818.com
905onthebay.com
fonemenu.com
notanothermovie.com
ukrainehighclassescort.com
meincmagazine.com
av-5858.com
yallerdawg.com
donkeythemovie.com
corporatehospitalitygroup.com
boboyy88.com
miteinander-lernen.com
dannayconsulting.com
officialtomsshoesoutletstore.com
forsale-amoxil-amoxicillin.net
generictadalafil-canada.net
guitarlessonseastlondon.com
lesliesrestaurants.com
mattyno9.com
nri-homeloans.com
rtgvisas-qatar.com
salbutamolventolinonline.net
sportsinjuries.info
wedsna.com
rgkntk.com
bkkmarketplace.com
zxqcwx.com
breakupprogram.com
boxcardc.com
unblockyoutubeindonesia.com
fabulousbookmark.com
beat-the.com
guatemala-sailfishing-vacations-charters.com
magie-marketing.com
kingstonliteracy.com
guitaraffinity.com
eurelookinggoodapparel.com
howtolosecheekfat.net
marioncma.org
oliviadavismusic.com
shantelcampbellrealestate.com
shopleborn13.com
topindiafree.com
v-visitors.net
djjky.com
053hh.com
originbluei.com
baucishotel.com
33kkn.com
intrinsiqresearch.com
mariaescort-kiev.com
mymaguk.com
sponsored4u.com
crimsonclass.com
bataillenavale.com
searchtile.com
ze-stribrnych-struh.com
zenithalhype.com
modalpkv.com
bouisset-lafforgue.com
useupload.com
37r.net
autoankauf-muenster.com
bantinbongda.net
bilgius.com
brabustermagazine.com
indigrow.org
miicrosofts.net
mysmiletravel.com
selinasims.com
spellcubesapp.com
usa-faction.com
hypoallergenicdogsnames.com
dailyupdatez.com
foodphotographyreviews.com
cricutcom-setup.com
chprowebdesign.com
katyrealty-kanepa.com
tasramar.com
bilgipinari.org
four-am.com
indiarepublicday.com
inquick-enbooks.com
iracmpi.com
kakaschoenen.com
lsm99flash.com
nana1255.com
ngen-niagara.com
technwzs.com
virtualonlinecasino1345.com
wallpapertop.net
casino-natali.com
iprofit-internet.com
denochemexicana.com
eventhalfkg.com
medcon-taiwan.com
life-himawari.com
myriamshomes.com
nightmarevue.com
healthandfitnesslives.com
androidnews-jp.com
allstarsru.com
bestofthebuckeyestate.com
bestofthefirststate.com
bestwireless7.com
britsmile.com
declarationintermittent.com
findhereall.com
jingyou888.com
lsm99deal.com
lsm99galaxy.com
moozatech.com
nuagh.com
patliyo.com
philomenamagikz.net
rckouba.net
saturnunipessoallda.com
tallahasseefrolics.com
thematurehardcore.net
totalenvironment-inthatquietearth.com
velislavakaymakanova.com
vermontenergetic.com
kakakpintar.com
jerusalemdispatch.com
begorgeouslady.com
1800birks4u.com
2wheelstogo.com
6strip4you.com
bigdata-world.net
emailandco.net
gacapal.com
jharpost.com
krishnaastro.com
lsm99credit.com
mascalzonicampani.com
sitemapxml.org
thecityslums.net
topagh.com
flairnetwebdesign.com
rajasthancarservices.com
bangkaeair.com
beneventocoupon.com
noternet.org
oqtive.com
smilebrightrx.com
decollage-etiquette.com
1millionbestdownloads.com
7658.info
bidbass.com
devlopworldtech.com
digitalmarketingrajkot.com
fluginfo.net
naqlafshk.com
passion-decouverte.com
playsirius.com
spacceleratorintl.com
stikyballs.com
top10way.com
yokidsyogurt.com
zszyhl.com
16firthcrescent.com
abogadolaboralistamd.com
apk2wap.com
aromacremeria.com
banparacard.com
bosmanraws.com
businessproviderblog.com
caltonosa.com
calvaryrevivalchurch.org
chastenedsoulwithabrokenheart.com
cheminotsgardcevennes.com
cooksspot.com
cqxzpt.com
deesywig.com
deltacartoonmaps.com
despixelsetdeshommes.com
duocoracaobrasileiro.com
fareshopbd.com
goodpainspills.com
hemendekor.com
kobisitecdn.com
makaigoods.com
mgs1454.com
piccadillyresidences.com
radiolaondafresca.com
rubendorf.com
searchengineimprov.com
sellmyhrvahome.com
shugahouseessentials.com
sonihullquad.com
subtractkilos.com
valeriekelmansky.com
vipasdigitalmarketing.com
voolivrerj.com
worldhealthstory.com
zeelonggroup.com
1015southrockhill.com
10x10b.com
111-online-casinos.com
191cb.com
3665arpentunitd.com
aitesonics.com
bag-shokunin.com
brightotech.com
communication-digitale-services.com
covoakland.org
dariaprimapack.com
freefortniteaccountss.com
gatebizglobal.com
global1entertainmentnews.com
greatytene.com
hiroshiwakita.com
iktodaypk.com
jahatsakong.com
meadowbrookgolfgroup.com
newsbharati.net
platinumstudiosdesign.com
slotxogamesplay.com
strikestaruk.com
techguroh.com
trucosdefortnite.com
ufabetrune.com
weddedtowhitmore.com
12940brycecanyonunitb.com
1311dietrichoaks.com
2monarchtraceunit303.com
601legendhill.com
850elaine.com
adieusolasomade.com
andora-ke.com
bestslotxogames.com
cannagomcallen.com
endlesslyhot.com
iestpjva.com
ouqprint.com
pwmaplefest.com
qtylmr.com
rb88betting.com
buscadogues.com
1007macfm.com
born-wild.com
growthinvests.com
promocode-casino.com
proyectogalgoargentina.com
wbthompson-art.com
whitemountainwheels.com
7thavehvl.com
developmethis.com
funkydogbowties.com
travelodgegrandjunction.com
gao-town.com
globalmarketsuite.com
blogshippo.com
hdbka.com
proboards67.com
outletonline-michaelkors.com
kalkis-research.com
thuthuatit.net
buckcash.com
hollistercanada.com
docterror.com
asadart.com
vmayke.org
erwincomputers.com
dirimart.org
okkii.com
loteriasdecehegin.com
mountanalog.com
healingtaobritain.com
ttxmonitor.com
nwordpress.com
11bolabonanza.com