Mushroom-haired Nintendo president Satoru Iwata has delivered his top-billed keynote at the Game Developers Conference.
He waffled affably about his many years making games and how things used to be different, cheap, disorganised.
He also revealed a brand new Super Mario 3DS game.
The full reveal will happen at E3 this summer. The the first screenshots revealed a bright and sumptuous 3D world similar to that of Mario 64 and Super Mario Galaxy.
Our full coverage of Satoru Iwata's GDC 2011 keynote can be found below, oldest entries presented first.
Our live coverage of this event has finished.
We're half an hour away. What has Nintendo not said yet about the 3DS?
每 Robert Purchese
每 Tom Phillips
The eternal promise of a Wii price drop looms, of course.
每 Robert Purchese
Hello from San Francisco! Welcome to the Game Developers Conference 2011 keynote speech.
每 Ellie Gibson
All right, it hasn't actually started yet. But we're here, we're sat near the front, the GDC logo is spinning on the big screen and they're playing some contemporary popular music, that's the point.
每 Ellie Gibson
This year's keynote will be delivered by Nintendo president Satoru Iwata. Which you probably knew if you bothered to read what you were clicking on before you arrived at this page.
每 Ellie Gibson
This year's live text will be delivered by me, Eurogamer deputy editor Ellie Gibson. By popular demand, I promise not to mention Women's Murder Club unless Iwata does.
每 Ellie Gibson
Get your scoresheets ready for KEYNOTE BINGO!
Every time Iwata shows a graph - 1 point
Every time we see a picture of a hot woman / old granny / black person enjoying a Wii game - 1 point (5 points for all three in the same photo)
每 Ellie Gibson
Every time Iwata mentions his wife - 2 points
1 point for any of these phrases - "Broadening the demographic", "Taking gaming into the living room", "New era of home entertainment"
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"We're very sorry about everything. Here's a new Mario and a console which is basically a SNES with a hard drive to make up for it." - 50,000 points
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Haven't spotted any familiar faces so far. No sign of Reggie, for example, or Laurent George Clooney Fischer. We can but dream.
每 Ellie Gibson
The atmosphere in the conference hall is electric. Well, as electric as any atmosphere can be when the soundtrack is Muse.
每 Ellie Gibson
An announcer just said the keynote will begin in a few minutes. True fact.
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So what can we expect from today's keynote, apart from graphs? Don't know about you, but I'm hoping it's finally time to reveal the full power of the Vitality Sensor.
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What do you reckon, GamesIndustry.biz editor Matt Martin? "I really don't know what to expect." Fired.
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"It's genuinely exciting because I really don't know. There's likely to be a big focus on 3DS, and they're unlikely to talk about any new hardware with that just out, but there could be some surprises." What, like no graphs?
每 Ellie Gibson
E3 may have the booth babes, but GDC has the beards. There really are some fantastic ones on show this year.
每 Ellie Gibson
GDC director Meggan Scavio is coming on the stage. Go Meggan! Nice dress!
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Meggan is wearing a mic headset just like Janet Jackson. Here's hoping Iwata will also be a part of the rhythm nation.
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She is talking about Iwata's previous appearances at GDC. This isn't his first keynote here, you know.
每 Ellie Gibson
And Satoru Iwata is on the stage. People are whooping. He is wearing a nice suit and has gone for a sort of nineties curtains look with his hair.
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每 Oli Welsh
"This year we have a lot to talk about." Let's hope so.
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Nintendo has been listening to devs who feel vulnerable and scared. "Maybe the three little words we need to remember most - content is king."
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"The primary need is still content. Without quality content and the imagination of everyone in this room today," except me presumably, "There is nothing... You are the centre of the videogame universe."
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Iwata's going to talk about the last 25 years of industry history. Probably for the next 25 years.
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He's talking about how he started out at HAL Laboratory. Accompanied by a nice historical pic - great mullet and a thumbs up. 10/10.
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"Even after starting to work with Nintendo, I had confidence I was better than anyone there when it came to programming experience." He also felt he was superior to Miyamoto, as would be proved when people went out to buy his games.
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But Miyamoto "taught me a painful lesson - content really is king. His games outsold mine by a huge margin. I found out that engineering isn't quite as important as imagination. To be honest, I was ashamed"
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Back in the old days, says Grandpa Iwata, there was no games industry. Gaming wasn't even a hobby. No one had a proper job, they just sat about doing what needed to be done. Something about hats.
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"I realise this might sound like an old days lecture you would hear from your grandfather." Too right Iwata, pass the Werther's.
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"Today, everything is bigger." Graphics have got better, there's more memory, cost has gone up and teams are much bigger. I cannot believe this has been going on for ten minutes and not a single graph.
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"Today many gamers demand titles that cost 50m or more. It's still fun, but there's a lot more to worry about now than just paying the rent." The tories closing all the libraries, for example. Oh maybe that's not what he meant.
每 Ellie Gibson
Lifestyle photographs! Old people! Black people! Adorable Asian children!
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Middle-aged women on Wii Fit boards! This is gold.
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They've been doing surveys in the US... YES! IT'S A CRAPH!
每 Ellie Gibson
Sorry about the typo. But actually craph works quite well.
每 Ellie Gibson
This graph has a pink arrow saying FEMALE and a blue one saying MALE. This is vintage stuff.
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There are just under 160m active gamers in te US, according to research. IT'S A BAR CHART NOW PEOPLE
每 Ellie Gibson
And it's another craph. In Europe, Nintendo measured data from Germany, UK, France, Spain, Italy and the Netherlands. So far active user ration is much lower than in the US, "But this means even more opportunity for us." Always look on the bright side.
每 Ellie Gibson
"Today, people often talk about social network games" oh please don't join them
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"Videogaming of a social nature goes back about 50 years." In 1962 Space War was the first to offer head to head competition. It existed only in a lavatory.
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Laboratory, sorry.
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Images of the Atari 2600 and TV Game thingies on the screen now. And now the NES.
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N64, Mario Kart, Goldeneye, Smash Bros. Brings a tear to the eye.
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The Wii now. Are we just skipping the GameCube then? Oh and now the Tetris. Pokemon. All over the shop.
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每 Oli Welsh
"To be sure, in recent years, Call of Duty has become an online phenomena... Microsoft should be recognised for its considerable investment in Xbox Live." PROPS.
每 Ellie Gibson
He's talking about must-have titles now. Women's... Never mind.
每 Ellie Gibson
He's namecheckiing Sonic, Zelda, Angry Birds and "The Grand Theft Auto" now - all must-have titles.
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LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY ALERT - women, cute black children
每 Ellie Gibson
Mario now. "It's hard to believe, but during his debut he was considered something brand new. Excitement for Mario and Donkey Kong grew through word of mouth."
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But Mario has remained popular because he changed and evolved. Pokemon now.
每 Ellie Gibson
And Tetris. "Tetris was perhaps the first videogame to attract a female audience in a meaningful way." Go on, mention your wife.
每 Ellie Gibson
Now: The Sims. "I know many of you remember criticism that this wasn't even a game because there was no way to win or lose. Many predicted it could never find an audience. It has sold 125 million copies around the world."
每 Ellie Gibson
So is Iwata about to announce a new must-have game? Come on grandad! Hurry up before you have to go back to the day room for lunchtime pills and Loose Women!
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He's having another flashback episode. Kirby this time. "The original name translated into English sounded like this - Tinkle Popo." Quite like that.
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He's talking about the colour change from pink to white for the Euro box - "Maybe they thought I wouldn't notice. I did."
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More than 5 million Kirby games show. That's a lot of Tinkle Popo.
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每 Oli Welsh
"The process of game development is the same for everyone. At Nintendo, it's just as stressful and frustrating and there never seems to be enough time, manpower or solutions. If there's a way to make it easy, we haven't discovered it yet."
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Oho! It's Reggie Fils-Aime! Surprise special guest!
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"The primary function of Nintendo 3DS is to play games." What about 3D porn?
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"Content can be captured, downloaded and displayed all in 3D - that's something you won't find anywhere else." We all know what you're talking about.
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"What we're providing consumers are varied entertainments." Varied entertainments! That's going on the next bingo sheet
每 Ellie Gibson
"All content on Nitnendo 3DS is going to look like no Nintendo handheld before, even if you're watching in 2D. This is particularly true if you're streaming anything with Netflix, a partnership which goes live this summer." Gosh.
每 Ellie Gibson
So yes, you can watch a Netflix movie on the 3DS, then get home and pick up the movie where you left off on the big screen, via the net.
每 Ellie Gibson
You can also give your kid the 3DS to watch Spongebob on while you confiscate the big TV. Let's hope that's true if you live in Europe, of course...
每 Ellie Gibson
3D Hollywood movie trailers are promised, starting with Green Lantern. Reggie is on FIRE.
每 Ellie Gibson
每 Oli Welsh
"You can also look forward to our exclusive short form video service - a wireless Nintendo channel available only on 3DS." Comedy, music videos, presumably Shaun the Sheep.
每 Ellie Gibson
They're going to push the content at you, or something. Mind out.
每 Ellie Gibson
"From initial reactions, we know people are extremely enthused about the 3D photo capability." Here we go. "But Iwata has hinted at the ability to record video in 3D... It could mean a birthday party, a vacation or a night on the town with you as your own director or producer, working in 3D. Stay tuned for an update, but let's just say we're enthused too."
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Some blather about local connectivity now. Street Fighter and all that.
每 Ellie Gibson
He's talking about experiments in Japan with free downloadable wifi. They offered free demos and retail sales were as much as six times higher at nearby stores.
每 Ellie Gibson
In late May, there will be 10,000 AT&T wi-fi hotspots available for 3DS users. Well, American 3DS users, presumably.
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"So, in all, three new aspects of 3DS will maximise your distribution opportunity." I do hope so cos mine's ****ed.
每 Ellie Gibson
"So, in all, three new aspects of 3DS will maximise your distribution opportunity." I do hope so cos mine's ****ed.
每 Ellie Gibson
Reggie's talking about the Nintendo eShop now. It includes the DSiWare service. You'll also get access to olden days Game Boy nonsense, yes we know. But that will include Game Gear and Turbo Grafx games.
每 Ellie Gibson
So will 3D classics - remakes of old hits. And trailers, screenshots, background info, links to your own websites. Eurogamer.net full stops in 3D!
每 Ellie Gibson
Not every feature will be available out of the box - many of them will come with the update in late May, including the DSiWare service and the ability to transfer your existing DSiWare games to 3DS, plus the browser and eShop.
每 Ellie Gibson
"I think that spells win-win for everything." SPELLCASTING, W-I-N...
每 Ellie Gibson
Iwata is back now. Bye Reggie. 15 minutes to go - Wii hard drive? New Mario? 4DS? Vitality Sensors for all?
每 Ellie Gibson
He's going to talk about "new games". Ooh.
每 Ellie Gibson
"Since 1996, when Mario appeared in 3D in Super Mario 64, it's always been hard for players to judge how to jump and hit a block floating in a 3D space."
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Miyamoto has found a solution. "Game developers are now able to invent any world we imagine. This leads to a new Super Mario to debut on the 3DS."
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The Galaxy team are working on a brand new Super Mario for 3DS. A classic-style logo is on the screen but "it's temporary".
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There's a tail on the O. "You may wonder what this indicates - we will reveal this at E3 this year."
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Moving on to Ocarina 3D now. "Last year marked the 25th anniversary of Super Mario, this year it's the 25th of Legend of Zelda." So there's a plan for all Zelda lovers to celebrate together. Sounds messy.
每 Ellie Gibson
Moving on to Ocarina 3D now. "Last year marked the 25th anniversary of Super Mario, this year it's the 25th of Legend of Zelda." So there's a plan for all Zelda lovers to celebrate together. Sounds messy.
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Skyward Sword now. Video time!
每 Ellie Gibson
Link is bashing a spider and a totem pole. Lava lake. All looks a bit familiar, this vid.
Iwata's back. "I would like to finish with some thoughts about the future." Here we go. My pulse is racing. If only I had some way to check how fast.
每 Ellie Gibson
"Over the past 25 years, we developers have gained a lot but also lost something... Craftsmanship."
每 Ellie Gibson
It's about the circumstances people are working in now. "No matter how much money, manpower or talent is involved, the needed flexibility may not be available."
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每 Oli Welsh
"This era of specialisation makes it much more difficult for a single individual to assess the entire nature or personality of a game."
每 Ellie Gibson
每 Oli Welsh
Mobile downloads and social networks now. Get ready to tick off Twitter and Facebook on your bingo card.
每 Ellie Gibson
CRAPH ATTACK. There are more than 500 games available for PS3, 750 for Xbox, 1000 for Wii and 1259 for DS.
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The big app sites offer tens of thousands of games, though. They're less expensive to create than retail ones.
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"At Nintendo, we see hardware as something consumers reluctantly purchase to play the games they want to play."
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"We're a game creator first and a manufacturer second. We want our consumers to appreciate the premium value of software."
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"The fact is, what we produce is valuable, and we shoudl protect that." Radical new DRM system?
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He's talking about how games get noticed now. If you hope a player will stay engaged for more than ten minutes to understand what you offer, it may be too late.
每 Ellie Gibson
It must be quick and easy for people to describe the nature of your game to others. Your idea must be simply understood. Plumber jumps on mushroom and collects coins to rescue princess from hostage-taking dinosaur, for example?
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He's banging on about different screens now. These chairs are hard.
每 Ellie Gibson
"If the job of GDC is to learn from each other, I believe we can all learn from this: trust your passion, believe in your dream." He's like the Japanese Martin Luther King of games.
每 Ellie Gibson
"Why would we stop now?" And it's over. Clapping.
每 Ellie Gibson
Iwata disappears through the little door at the back of the stage, ready to begin the long journey home through the tunnel to Japan.
每 Ellie Gibson
Well, that was the GDC 2011 keynote. Iwata! Reggie! Exciting new networked services that probably won't come to Europe!