Hello! We've less than an hour to go so I might as well start typing nonsense in here.
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Though it seems some of you have already started in the comments!
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I'd have thought anything over six myself, but each to their own.
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Also I want that comment put on a placard and placed on top of all comment threads - incredible work.
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Anyway, I'm a Stadia fanboy so who's laughing now?
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Right, on to the show!
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It's 60 minutes of third-party reveals, and with an obvious focus on gameplay.
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What to expect? Well, despite my job as a hypeman, I'd say the best thing to expect is not too much.
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We're not going to get the big reveal of a beloved third-party series, because this simply isn't the time or the place for it. Instead think more along the lines of some low-key but interesting third-party games, all with that Series X polish.
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And of course the really exciting stuff is going to be at Microsoft's own first-party showcase a few short weeks away. But still!
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I'm curious to know what the next-gen difference is going to look like.
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TagRed: Questioning whether windowed mode on a non-4k screen is going to give me the best impression here... ?
I'm going to stream in 240p. On my phone.
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Really though I'm only here for Major Nelson and his next-gen glow-up.
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I'm sort of expecting that too...
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Likewise I think that reduced loading times and raytracing will be that next-gen difference. Which doesn't really excite me too much, but it's something!
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I think the bigger question is whether 4pm on a Thursday is an okay time to start drinking?
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Kami: During this quarantine, I think the rules of acceptable times to drink have gone out of the window.
This is very true.
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*uncorks bourbon*
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Less than thirty minutes to go, and the inane electronica loop has commenced!
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Who's leaving the stream unmuted until their brain starts trickling from their ears after being subjected to any more of this noise?
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dadrester: "*uncorks bourbon*"
I'm working but I'm VERY tempted to pour myself a nice glass of Japanese single malt and call it an early finish at 4 :)
I mean yeah, I'm *working* too.
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Mr.Spo: Have they told us how many bits Xbox Series X has? I lost count when we got to 128 bits in 2000.
It's got blast processing, I know that much.
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Is this the same music they use before every big Xbox show?
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It's certainly familiar. Maybe Major Nelson picked it himself from his CD collection.
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This is just third-party games - Microsoft will have its own first-party show a little later in the year.
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When I say a little later in the year - it's currently down for July, and it's where we'll see plenty more on Halo Infinite which is leading the charge when it comes to first-party games from Microsoft.
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And obviously there's the small matter of Playground Games' Fable, the rebooted Forza Motorsport from Turn 10 and plenty more besides. July's show is going to be good.
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I'm not 100 per cent sure today's going to have quite the same bang, but it's still going to be worth a watch.
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Because, frankly, what else am I going to be doing while locked away in my shed in Lewisham.
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I'm enjoying all the people in the comments on the YouTube stream crying out for Elden Ring and Cyberpunk.
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And I look forward to bathing in their salty tears soon.
All games that definitely won't be on show here, but if I type them out it might give this page an SEO boost so there's that.
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MrTomFTW: What the fuck Martin? It isn't late night and there's a live stream report... What's going on?
I had to get out of bed early for this.
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Tactical toilet break or shall I power through and spend the last ten minutes in agony?
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Or wet myself live on the internet. That's the other option.
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Kami: Wet 2 confirmed by Martin right there! XD
Ha and I thought I was being subtle.
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Oh man I remember being at the press event where they unveiled not only Wet but also Rogue Warrior.
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What a time to be alive.
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Centrale1: You don't want to miss the last five minutes of this jam!
Waiting for the drop.
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Still waiting.
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OUR FIRST LOOK AT THE NEXT GENERATION OF VIDEO GAMES IS LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES AWAY.
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THOUGH TECHNICALLY I GUESS YOU COULD CONSIDER THE SWITCH AS PART OF THE 9TH GENERATION OF CONSOLE HARDWARE SO MAYBE NOT.
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Sheikah: Next gen consoles, do you reckon this year or next?
Microsoft has commited to launch this year.
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Oh wait.
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The music has changed.
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We're now getting a pulsing bassline. Something is happening.
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CinnoMan: "video not available. this video is set to private"
is that normal?
Refresh your page! They changed the location of the vid about an hour ago so we had to swap it out. Sorry for the faff!
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TheCraigery: Is chip music called “fries music” in the US?
That's a legit question.
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OOOH This is PEGI 18! We might see some nudes!
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We'll see Aaron Greenberg's kitchen first - and a neat joke on the Series X form as he's shopped in a Series X-shaped fridge in the background.
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Microsoft are humans after all! That's actually jokes.
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Matt Booty, head of Xbox Game Studios up now, with what looks like a healthy collection of magazines.
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And a nice selection of mini-arcade cabs.
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This look into the interior decoration of Microsoft execs is more than I expected, and I'm honestly stoked.
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And also quite honestly disappointed to move onto the games so quickly. I want to see more of people's houses!
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THIS IS IT!
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THIS IS NEXT GEN!
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You can shoot people and also be a bit stealthy and hit them a bit from behind and also shoot them some more.
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And then you can punch them a bit. But it looks so pretty!
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Will it always be raining in next gen games?
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BRIGHT MEMORY! From Playism, and from a single developer in FYQD Studios in China.
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Which is quite impressive.
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First mention of ray-tracing - take a sip of your chosen beverage.
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First mention of faster loading times - take a bump of ketamine.
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Not sure how long I'm going to last before slipping into a k-hole in my shed.
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ANOTHER NEW GAME!
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And it's got cars in it. I like cars!
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It's a new Codemasters racer, and it looks more Onrush than Dirt.
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But it's Dirt 5, which has all the colours and noises and... Yeah, it's not Dirt Rally is it?
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Here's something a bit darker, with some serious HR Giger vibes.
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In fact that must be Giger art otherwise his estate best be getting a lawsuit ready.
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This be Scorn.
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And yes that was some deep Giger references, which are intentional.
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Another new game now, with aerial combat - plus raytracing and faster load times, obv.
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And this'll be Chorus, from Deep Silver and Fish Labs with a 2021 release date.
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Some Hellblade goes to space vibes from that.
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We're on to Madden.
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So maybe pop to the toilet?
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It's a runthrough of Madden through the ages, and I really hope they include the infamous bullshot that did the rounds just before the Xbox 360 generation.
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Nah, they didn't. We saw it and it looks like Madden alright.
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It's crossbuy too - get Madden on Xbox One and you'll also get it on Series X. Which is quite the thing.
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We're in Sarah Bond's spare room, which looks quite nice and cosy.
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I don't think those drawers go with that orange... thing. But what do I know about interior decoration? I've just been playing too much Animal Crossing and have ideas above my station.
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And this is Vampire - The Masquerade Bloodlines 2.
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It very much looks like a game being played on a decent PC.
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Well she's not going to say it looks like a sack of shit is she?
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Onto a very colourful first-person tropical experience.
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With a dash of Sea of Thieves, and a splash more fantasy.
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It's Call of the Sea, from Out of the Blue and Raw Fury.
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It has raytracing and faster loading times! *snorts bourbon and drinks a shot of liquid ketamine*
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We got a bit of future shiz now and what looks like a trad twin-stick shooter with some next gen gloss.
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You really can't launch a console without a decent twin-stick shooter.
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The Ascent!
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Is what that was.
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NEXT!
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This has quite the pace.
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It's a pregnant lady getting an ultrasound!
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I don't trust video games with pregnant ladies but let's see where this goes.
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This is The Medium, and that was not gameplay.
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Ah, it's from Bloober Team.
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Akira Yamoaka of Silent Hill fame is on the score - and it looks very Silent Hill now we can actually see the game in action.
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That's a very brief gameplay demo though.
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Now something from Bandai Namco - and it's not Elden Ring or Cyberpunk.
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It's a game where you fight the monsters from Annihilation?
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It's well anime, if that's your jam - some mad big-eyed lad who uses telekinesis to mash monsters up.
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This next gen game looks like it plays like a PS2 game.
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(That's no bad thing, btw)
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That be Scarlet Nexus, which looks like a video game alright!
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Something new from the Avalanche family of studios, which has you shooting the jaws off some dinosaurs.
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Oh video games.
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Second Extinction be that.
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And now! Some Yakuza?
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Why ever not.
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This is Yakuza Like a Dragon, which has been out in Japan a while - it's a turn-based RPG, so a slight deviation for the series.
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And I honestly cannot wait to play it.
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A look at next-gen Nagoshi!
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A bit uncanny valley but I'll take it.
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That was quite the whirlwind tour through some interesting third-party games.
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And here's the gameplay debut of Assassin's Creed: Valhalla.
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This will have raytracing and faster loading times *necks half a pint of liquid ketamine, slides into unconsciousness, meets god, wakes up 20 minutes later with a really groggy head*
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This isn't really gameplay though is it?
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That's a bit cheap/dumb to trail that as gameplay and then just show cutscenes in-engine.
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Well, it's a straight up fib is what it is.
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Silly people.
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Well, I think that was that.
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I mean, there's some great new games in there, and some games I'd forgotten about that now look absolutely incredible.
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But this Assassin's Creed 'gameplay' leaves a bit of a sour taste, and it's not helped by an inane interview afterwards.
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Oh well! July will be interesting!
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It's been lovely getting a look into everyone's houses though!
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ghostmeister: Ridiculous they spent the entire show teasing the assassins creed gameplay reveal, then didn't show any gameplay
Yup. Microsoft has otherwise been doing a great job with the Series X reveals, but that was a serious misstep.
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I think it's safe to say that's a wrap. I'd say go out and do something nice in the sun, but obviously that's not really an option for many of us.
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So just find a nice comfy cushion, lie down, take some ket and knock yourself out.
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Wait a second. Dirt 5 has Troy Baker and Nolan North in it.
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Oh dear.
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I hope they're okay at Codies.
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Hang on, Dirt 5 will have raytracing and fast loading.
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*pulls belt tight around arm, flicks the end of the needle and injects some sweet sweet heroin*
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Haha, yes - serious respect. That's a power move.
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They look like some serious tech manuals on his shelf too. This guy knows his shit.
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We're back to Aaron and his incredible fridge.
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It really was the highlight of the stream.
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A reminder that first-party games will get their airing in July.
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And that's that.
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I think I was neither under or overwhelmed by that - just a mild whelming.
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Some fascinating looking new IPs from some exciting studios, which is more interesting than having the same old being wheeled out again and again.
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Oh and Dirt 5 has Nolan North and Troy Baker in it.
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But obviously the big guns will come out in July for Microsoft.
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Before which I'm sure we'll have heard a bit more from Sony on its own plans, and its own software. It's going to be a fun few months!
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And that is that. Thanks for joining us, enjoy the long weekend, stay safe and see you all again soon!