And we're done. Thank heavens - at times I thought it'd never end. Still! Battlefront looks amazing, as does Mirror's Edge Catalyst and the new Mass Effect has a name. Also, EA employs a lot of attractive Swedish people. Oh, and they paid Pele a lot of money to come on stage and tell us about the time someone patted his head.
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We're an hour away from EA, and the office is abuzz as we all catch up with the barnstorming Microsoft conference.
每 Martin Robinson
Also, alight with anticipation for the pizzas that are arriving in a bit.
每 Martin Robinson
每 Oli Welsh
I'm in. EA has gone for an unconventional "big wedding" seating plan this year. Looking forward to some warm Prosecco and some tiny bits of toast with salmon on them.
每 Oli Welsh
Toaster05: Go on then Martin. What kind of pizza? You lot are eating pizza with a BBQ base then you are dead to me.
From Hove's own Pizza Face, the most delightfully middle class of delivery joints. I went for a spicy number that may land me in trouble come Sony's conference.
First of all, Peter Moore *has* to show us a new outfit.
每 Martin Robinson
A onesie that slips off easily enough, revealing a full-body tattoo with EA's full financials and the release date of Mirror's Edge across one buttock and Bjorn from Peggle on the other would do the trick.
每 Martin Robinson
That'd win me over. Screw anything on a new Mass Effect or our first look at Mirror's Edge.
每 Martin Robinson
Also, we can expect plenty of Star Wars - Battlefront, some Old Republic stuff and if we're lucky a peek at Amy Hennig's new joint.
每 Martin Robinson
Toaster05: Best worst conference ever was the Capcom one from a few years back. Anyone that sat through that deserves a medal.
Konami's one from 2011, I think, was a blast if you love disastrous shows as much as I do. Also, never forget Jamie Kennedy's performance for Activision. Legendary.
每 Martin Robinson
Sammoore: Which one had Mr. Caffeine? That has to be well up there.
I love Aisha Tyler, but I do wish they'd give him a second chance. I love that man.
每 Martin Robinson
Nephirion: Fifa 16?
Not a chance mate.
每 Martin Robinson
A hyper dramatic countdown leads into some western style music. Is Peter Moore going to be wearing a stetson?
每 Martin Robinson
Oh, disappointingly it looks like this is for Mass Effect 4, not a teaser for Peter Moore's outfit.
每 Martin Robinson
Still, I'll take the return of the Mako.
每 Martin Robinson
And we have a name for it - Mass Effect Andromeda, coming late next year.
每 Martin Robinson
You could cut your fingers on the lines on Andrew Wilson's suit.
每 Martin Robinson
Why you're running your fingers over Andrew Wilson is your own business. I won't ask any questions. Neither will he.
每 Martin Robinson
Just go with it. It's all about your passion for play. He'll understand that.
每 Martin Robinson
Confirmation from Mr. Wilson that we're getting some new IPs, Mirror's Edge and, to climax, Star Wars Battlefront.
每 Martin Robinson
"Thanks," says Andrew Wilson, "You make us better." No, you make *me* better Andrew.
每 Martin Robinson
Anyway, enough of that. CARS.
每 Martin Robinson
Nemesis: NFS: B&Q car park after closing
Would play, 8/10, Recommended.
每 Martin Robinson
Super urban look for the new Need for Speed, and a very Swedish man takes to the stage. Such style! Such confidence!
每 Martin Robinson
"This is the least ambitious game we've ever worked on". Is not something they've just said. This one's "definitive".
每 Martin Robinson
Full customisation in this Need for Speed, and a big story emphasis. Tellingly, they're telling us that Star Wars Battlefront is on in 50 minutes, so please do stick around.
每 Martin Robinson
Is this real or is it Frostbite? You're right, Marcus, I am confused.
每 Martin Robinson
That's actually a cool match cut to in-game footage. Though I thought we was over all the story stuff after the last few disastrous times it was in the Need for Speed series.
每 Martin Robinson
I love Fast & Furious as much as the next chap, but this is more Tokyo Drift than Fast 7.
每 Martin Robinson
Well, as far as down and dirty street racing goes it certainly looks the part - though that dramatic cam on sliding looks a bit obnoxious.
每 Martin Robinson
Nemesis: I quite liked Tokyo Drift /hangs head in shame
Han 4 life.
每 Martin Robinson
Oh hey, BioWare's making a Star Wars game. It's an Old Republic sequel?
每 Martin Robinson
Oh wait, it's that one. Understandable that EA's leaning on its existing, very expensive Star Wars product in the run-up to Episode 7's release.
每 Martin Robinson
Supra_Hans: is anyone still playing the old republic?
I know a few people that do, and are very much into it.
每 Martin Robinson
Well it must be doing well if they're still got the budget for these mega trailers.
每 Martin Robinson
Patrick Soderlund now, the second handsome Swede on stage and we're only 15 minutes in. This is delivering.
每 Martin Robinson
He's teasing some more pretty Swedes who could well take to the stage in a second.
每 Martin Robinson
gallow: Those are some tight trousers.
Those are some skinny legs!
每 Martin Robinson
And we're seeing an all-new IP, Unravel. And Martin Sahlin. Hi Martin!
每 Martin Robinson
I think he's got a henna tattoo, which is some weird festival vibe to be bringing to the stage.
每 Martin Robinson
Also with this knitted aesthetic and some cute, light philosophy about the power of creativity we have reached peak indie.
每 Martin Robinson
No, wait, I was wrong. With this tinkling then soaring and emotive soundtrack, we've now reached peak indie.
每 Martin Robinson
It's pretty and it's smart, so fair play to EA for giving it such a big chunk of time.
每 Martin Robinson
EA's idea of crazy is no way near as convincing as Ubisoft's, as witnessed by the forced zaniness of this Plants vs. Zombie Garden Warfare reveal.
每 Martin Robinson
I admit I never gave the first Garden Warfare a chance, which is my mistake - those that have played it tell me it's great.
每 Martin Robinson
vert1go: PVZ fails in a post-Splatoon world.
This isn't a post-Splatoon world, it's a Splatoon world. Long may its brilliance reign over us.
每 Martin Robinson
DON'T FORGET BATTLEFRONT IS ON IN 35 MINUTES.
每 Martin Robinson
For now, though, the news that bots will be in Garden Warfare 2, and that you can transfer progress from the first game.
每 Martin Robinson
mouseymouse: EA sports is next, time to tune out
I might have tuned out during that Garden Warfare section. Apologies!
每 Martin Robinson
33 MINUTES TO BATTLEFRONT.
每 Martin Robinson
Oh, and now for some ice hockey. Popping to the kitchen - anyone want anything?
每 Martin Robinson
Hang on, is this year's NHL the one with the beard tech? Maybe I'll stick around for a couple more minutes.
每 Martin Robinson
These parts do baffle me - I wonder if they realise a global audience is watching when they parade all these sports.
每 Martin Robinson
When face scans go wrong.
每 Martin Robinson
Who's hoopohmygawd? Anyone?
每 Martin Robinson
A Google search tells me she's called Moné and, as of an hour ago, her back hurt.
每 Martin Robinson
And she was still in school an hour ago, so it's impressive she made it to the stage. Traffic in LA round there at this time must be a 'mare.
每 Martin Robinson
Hang on, my mistake. Apparently it's Ashwin Gowda, who made $106 in December 2012 just by doing surveys.
每 Martin Robinson
Oh, it's time to talk about mobile! This bit always goes down well with all those tuned in to these conferences.
每 Martin Robinson
It's EA's turn to do a Hearthstone clone, after Bethesda's Elder Scrolls spin-off. At least this one has Star Wars in it.
每 Martin Robinson
It's at times like this I really wish I could say naughty words in these livetexts to really get across how I feel about things like this Minions game.
每 Martin Robinson
No, Phil. Just no.
每 Martin Robinson
12 MINUTES TO BATTLEFRONT EVERYONE.
每 Martin Robinson
Oh god is Pele dead?
每 Martin Robinson
What a loss.
每 Martin Robinson
He lives! Reborn on EA's stage!
每 Martin Robinson
It's like that time that Jesus guy came back, but with more presentations about mobile games.
每 Martin Robinson
I *think* we're still watching a video game conference, but right now Pele's just slagging off American football.
每 Martin Robinson
SIX MINUTES TO BATTLEFRONT EVERYONE!
每 Martin Robinson
I think we've just lost our first look at Mirror's Edge to accommodate this anecdote about... A Swedish girl patting his hair?
每 Martin Robinson
Wait, there's a video game here too!
每 Martin Robinson
I wanted to hear more about what happened in Sweden though, to be honest.
每 Martin Robinson
FIFTEEN MINUTES TO BATTLE... Hang on, where's that extra 10 minutes come from? PELE!
每 Martin Robinson
Right, got distracted there for a second by the most distasteful joke that sadly can never make it to this livetext. FIFA 15 has some new features in it.
每 Martin Robinson
I've heard from people who've played it that it's a huge improvement over last year's effort - keen to try it out, having shifted over to PES in recent years.
每 Martin Robinson
Mirror's Edge now, though, so you might want to stick around.
每 Martin Robinson
It's open-world, it looks a lot less shooty than before and overall it looks pretty bloody good.
每 Martin Robinson
Please no guns, please no guns.
每 Martin Robinson
What a bummer it must be to have the surname Kruger - you're just destined to be a bit evil.
每 Martin Robinson
We get a release date for Mirror's Edge Catalyst too - February 23rd next year.
每 Martin Robinson
American Football - where's Pele now, ey?
每 Martin Robinson
Actually, I'd welcome him back on stage to present this one.
每 Martin Robinson
Nope, it's just some big face wearing jeans, a blazer and a pale blue shirt. Also, the blazer's cream. That's so much no on one man!
每 Martin Robinson
NO MORE MINUTES TO BATTLEFRONT - the trailer has released early. Or on time, before Pele came along and stole ten minutes.