Skip to main content

Wario: Master of Disguise

Unable to disguise the smell, unfortunately.

Dark blue icons of video game controllers on a light blue background
Image credit: Eurogamer

I've always considered Wario as one of the most unusual characters in Nintendo's roster; while he plays a stock baddie in Nintendo's sports and party game titles (little more than an evil, palette swapped Mario) he's starred in two innovative series of his own, making a mark with the Wario Land series before the celebrated Wario Ware games made him a bankable star in his own right.

Wario: Master of Disguise is the first new Wario platformer since Wario Land 4 was released on the GBA over five years ago, and, intriguingly, Nintendo handed over development duties to Suzak, rather than develop it in house. Suzak has developed F-Zero: GP Legend in recent times, but it has also produced an astonishing amount of Japan-only licensed shovelware. (I'm personally saddened we never got "Deco Tora X Geijitsuden" which would easily have been localised as "Pimp My Truck.")

Although this most recent Wario doesn't include the Wario Land subtitle, like the previous games it has its own unique twist: eight costumes that give Wario a variety of different powers, which he requires to explore fully labyrinthine levels that he's trying to (as usual) steal as much treasure as possible from. As the game is on the Nintendo DS, of course, you can't just select the costumes from a menu; you have to draw a specific symbol over Wario on-screen. This doesn't actually sound too bad, as far as shoe-horned touch screen use goes, but it's hard to convey how unbearably tedious this becomes in play. But I'll give it a go.

As 'Arty Wario' You can draw hearts to restore your health, but it's almost more bother than it's worth.

For example, usually when entering a room you'll have to change into "Genius Wario" by drawing a circle with a line through it, so you can see hidden objects in the room. Then, a quick change into "Cosmic Wario" (by drawing a circle) will allow you to zap all of the enemies on screen. Often, you'll have to change into "Arty Wario" (draw a square with a line through it) to draw some blocks on screen to use as platforms, before turning back into "Thief Wario" (a tick) to jump on them.

If the symbols I've just described sound remarkably similar and easy to confuse, then you're not alone, because although it's easy to remember what you want to draw, it's not always a given that the game will agree with you. If you don't exactly sketch out the symbol as it requires you'll either find yourself repeatedly drawing it or, irritatingly, wearing the wrong disguise. This is a problem that becomes epidemic later in the game and during boss battles, where you are required to make several quick costume changes in a row. With the amount of time you spend drawing and redrawing symbols, Wario: Master of Disguise soon seems to take as much effort as writing a short novel.

Because of the heavy stylus demands, directional control of Wario is either entirely with the control pad (for right-handers) or the face buttons (for lefties) which means, horrifyingly, that you have to use "up" to jump. These unsuitable controls seem to work in collusion with the level design to irritate the player as much as possible. Despite the length of the levels (they feature multiple save points and can take up to an hour to complete), they have been designed to be as claustrophobic as possible, with a truly hideous number of jumps in the game requiring pixel perfect placement lest Wario bump his head on one of the many low ceilings and fall to a point where he has to go through yet another series of costume changes. Gnngh!

The level design isn't entirely bad; though fairly linear, they have a design that at least pays lip-service to Metroid and Castlevania's system of exploration and puzzle solving, but the level themes are terribly uninspired. Is there actually any excuse for a character to visit an ice cave these days?

This is one of the mini-games to be found in a chest. This one would be at least as good as Brain Age, but there's actually only two patterns!

Though they might not have put a lot of effort into thinking of kinds of levels ("how about a desert level?") they clearly, and unnecessarily, put a lot of effort into the absurd plot. While watching TV Wario becomes so excited by a programme about a rich gentleman thief that he invents a helmet to transport him into TV land (an invention I'm sure is worth millions, but never mind) steals the thief's magic wand, and goes on the search for the Wishstone, a legendary stone said to (can you guess?) grant any wish.

That would be fair enough if that was recounted to us entirely within the intro movie, but instead the plot drags on for an interminable amount of time during levels, with characters waffling on (and on) about their motivation, or making very weak fart jokes. Even Wario's stolen wand won't shut up! You can, at least, skip the majority of these scenes, but as in some cases you require information from them to solve puzzles, you really do have to sit through them.

Grinding your teeth.

With boredom and frustration.

But perhaps the most disappointing thing about Wario: Master of Disguise of all is the included mini-games. With Wario's name roughly synonymous with short bursts of pure joy thanks to the Wario Ware series, that every time you open a treasure chest (which is all the bloody time) you have to play some of the most offensively dull mini-games possible is almost too grand an insult. Offering a limited selection of games such as slide puzzles and colouring in (yes, really) there's no challenge, as you can try as often as you like, and they begin to repeat themselves before you've even finished the first level. It got to the point where I wasavoiding treasure just to not have to play them.

I don't doubt that Suzak tried to make yet another innovative instalment in the Wario franchise, with their stressful demands for constant touch screen use - but the sad fact is that there isn't a single spark of imagination or joy in this entire game. Despite some obvious effort, Wario: Master of Disguise is just utterly tedious in every respect and an absolute chore to play.

4 / 10

Read this next

seductrice.net
universo-virtual.com
buytrendz.net
thisforall.net
benchpressgains.com
qthzb.com
mindhunter9.com
dwjqp1.com
secure-signup.net
ahaayy.com
tressesindia.com
puresybian.com
krpano-chs.com
cre8workshop.com
hdkino.org
peixun021.com
qz786.com
utahperformingartscenter.org
worldqrmconference.com
shangyuwh.com
eejssdfsdfdfjsd.com
playminecraftfreeonline.com
trekvietnamtour.com
your-business-articles.com
essaywritingservice10.com
hindusamaaj.com
joggingvideo.com
wandercoups.com
wormblaster.net
tongchengchuyange0004.com
internetknowing.com
breachurch.com
peachesnginburlesque.com
dataarchitectoo.com
clientfunnelformula.com
30pps.com
cherylroll.com
ks2252.com
prowp.net
webmanicura.com
sofietsshotel.com
facetorch.com
nylawyerreview.com
apapromotions.com
shareparelli.com
goeaglepointe.com
thegreenmanpubphuket.com
karotorossian.com
publicsensor.com
taiwandefence.com
epcsur.com
southstills.com
tvtv98.com
thewellington-hotel.com
bccaipiao.com
colectoresindustrialesgs.com
shenanddcg.com
capriartfilmfestival.com
replicabreitlingsale.com
thaiamarinnewtoncorner.com
gkmcww.com
mbnkbj.com
andrewbrennandesign.com
cod54.com
luobinzhang.com
faithfirst.net
zjyc28.com
tongchengjinyeyouyue0004.com
nhuan6.com
kftz5k.com
oldgardensflowers.com
lightupthefloor.com
bahamamamas-stjohns.com
ly2818.com
905onthebay.com
fonemenu.com
notanothermovie.com
ukrainehighclassescort.com
meincmagazine.com
av-5858.com
yallerdawg.com
donkeythemovie.com
corporatehospitalitygroup.com
boboyy88.com
miteinander-lernen.com
dannayconsulting.com
officialtomsshoesoutletstore.com
forsale-amoxil-amoxicillin.net
generictadalafil-canada.net
guitarlessonseastlondon.com
lesliesrestaurants.com
mattyno9.com
nri-homeloans.com
rtgvisas-qatar.com
salbutamolventolinonline.net
sportsinjuries.info
wedsna.com
rgkntk.com
bkkmarketplace.com
zxqcwx.com
breakupprogram.com
boxcardc.com
unblockyoutubeindonesia.com
fabulousbookmark.com
beat-the.com
guatemala-sailfishing-vacations-charters.com
magie-marketing.com
kingstonliteracy.com
guitaraffinity.com
eurelookinggoodapparel.com
howtolosecheekfat.net
marioncma.org
oliviadavismusic.com
shantelcampbellrealestate.com
shopleborn13.com
topindiafree.com
v-visitors.net
djjky.com
053hh.com
originbluei.com
baucishotel.com
33kkn.com
intrinsiqresearch.com
mariaescort-kiev.com
mymaguk.com
sponsored4u.com
crimsonclass.com
bataillenavale.com
searchtile.com
ze-stribrnych-struh.com
zenithalhype.com
modalpkv.com
bouisset-lafforgue.com
useupload.com
37r.net
autoankauf-muenster.com
bantinbongda.net
bilgius.com
brabustermagazine.com
indigrow.org
miicrosofts.net
mysmiletravel.com
selinasims.com
spellcubesapp.com
usa-faction.com
hypoallergenicdogsnames.com
dailyupdatez.com
foodphotographyreviews.com
cricutcom-setup.com
chprowebdesign.com
katyrealty-kanepa.com
tasramar.com
bilgipinari.org
four-am.com
indiarepublicday.com
inquick-enbooks.com
iracmpi.com
kakaschoenen.com
lsm99flash.com
nana1255.com
ngen-niagara.com
technwzs.com
virtualonlinecasino1345.com
wallpapertop.net
casino-natali.com
iprofit-internet.com
denochemexicana.com
eventhalfkg.com
medcon-taiwan.com
life-himawari.com
myriamshomes.com
nightmarevue.com
healthandfitnesslives.com
androidnews-jp.com
allstarsru.com
bestofthebuckeyestate.com
bestofthefirststate.com
bestwireless7.com
britsmile.com
declarationintermittent.com
findhereall.com
jingyou888.com
lsm99deal.com
lsm99galaxy.com
moozatech.com
nuagh.com
patliyo.com
philomenamagikz.net
rckouba.net
saturnunipessoallda.com
tallahasseefrolics.com
thematurehardcore.net
totalenvironment-inthatquietearth.com
velislavakaymakanova.com
vermontenergetic.com
kakakpintar.com
begorgeouslady.com
1800birks4u.com
2wheelstogo.com
6strip4you.com
bigdata-world.net
emailandco.net
gacapal.com
jharpost.com
krishnaastro.com
lsm99credit.com
mascalzonicampani.com
sitemapxml.org
thecityslums.net
topagh.com
flairnetwebdesign.com
rajasthancarservices.com
bangkaeair.com
beneventocoupon.com
noternet.org
oqtive.com
smilebrightrx.com
decollage-etiquette.com
1millionbestdownloads.com
7658.info
bidbass.com
devlopworldtech.com
digitalmarketingrajkot.com
fluginfo.net
naqlafshk.com
passion-decouverte.com
playsirius.com
spacceleratorintl.com
stikyballs.com
top10way.com
yokidsyogurt.com
zszyhl.com
16firthcrescent.com
abogadolaboralistamd.com
apk2wap.com
aromacremeria.com
banparacard.com
bosmanraws.com
businessproviderblog.com
caltonosa.com
calvaryrevivalchurch.org
chastenedsoulwithabrokenheart.com
cheminotsgardcevennes.com
cooksspot.com
cqxzpt.com
deesywig.com
deltacartoonmaps.com
despixelsetdeshommes.com
duocoracaobrasileiro.com
fareshopbd.com
goodpainspills.com
hemendekor.com
kobisitecdn.com
makaigoods.com
mgs1454.com
piccadillyresidences.com
radiolaondafresca.com
rubendorf.com
searchengineimprov.com
sellmyhrvahome.com
shugahouseessentials.com
sonihullquad.com
subtractkilos.com
valeriekelmansky.com
vipasdigitalmarketing.com
voolivrerj.com
zeelonggroup.com
1015southrockhill.com
10x10b.com
111-online-casinos.com
191cb.com
3665arpentunitd.com
aitesonics.com
bag-shokunin.com
brightotech.com
communication-digitale-services.com
covoakland.org
dariaprimapack.com
freefortniteaccountss.com
gatebizglobal.com
global1entertainmentnews.com
greatytene.com
hiroshiwakita.com
iktodaypk.com
jahatsakong.com
meadowbrookgolfgroup.com
newsbharati.net
platinumstudiosdesign.com
slotxogamesplay.com
strikestaruk.com
trucosdefortnite.com
ufabetrune.com
weddedtowhitmore.com
12940brycecanyonunitb.com
1311dietrichoaks.com
2monarchtraceunit303.com
601legendhill.com
850elaine.com
adieusolasomade.com
andora-ke.com
bestslotxogames.com
cannagomcallen.com
endlesslyhot.com
iestpjva.com
ouqprint.com
pwmaplefest.com
qtylmr.com
rb88betting.com
buscadogues.com
1007macfm.com
born-wild.com
growthinvests.com
promocode-casino.com
proyectogalgoargentina.com
wbthompson-art.com
whitemountainwheels.com
7thavehvl.com
developmethis.com
funkydogbowties.com
travelodgegrandjunction.com
gao-town.com
globalmarketsuite.com
blogshippo.com
hdbka.com
proboards67.com
outletonline-michaelkors.com
kalkis-research.com
thuthuatit.net
buckcash.com
hollistercanada.com
docterror.com
asadart.com
vmayke.org
erwincomputers.com
dirimart.org
okkii.com
loteriasdecehegin.com
mountanalog.com
healingtaobritain.com
ttxmonitor.com
nwordpress.com
11bolabonanza.com