UK Resistance: The War is Over
In memoriam.
Since then, UKR gradually wound down – each update more knowingly lame than the last, the tone of the site remaining jolly even as it undeniably lost momentum.
"UKR is a decaying art-deco relic of a bygone optimistic era," says Cutlack. "Everyone's happy it exists and likes walking past it, but no one wants to pay to refurbish the chandeliers.
"It was about how Sega games were the best, but as that clearly hasn't been true for quite some time, it morphed into housing a poor collection of memorabilia and lazy updates about nothing."
Why Sega in the first place? "It was about Sega because Sega made Daytona USA and Virtua Fighter and Sonic and therefore made us endlessly happy. Now Sega makes Binary Domain and makes us very sad."
The wonder of the internet will, of course, preserve UKR's acid in aspic. It would be a stretch to get highfalutin' about the loss of updates. Particularly when Sony's recent calamities allowed special dispensation for that update from beyond the grave.
Cutlack says he couldn't resist that last dig but, barring perhaps a final update to seal the coffin, that's it for UKR. What goes with it is hard to quantify. The industry will barrel along as ever, its various giants tumbling into pothole after pothole, and there will always be someone else to shout from the sidelines.
But surely every gamer, regardless of affiliation or creed, hates The Man and has a little soft spot for Sega somewhere. Rose-tinted spectacles are a wonderful thing to watch the games industry's idiots and idiotic moments through.
There has never been another site quite like UKR. It straddled the extreme ends of the industry and fanboy spectrums, while seeing just how far an interest in Ulala upskirt shots could go. The world won't change now it's over. But when Outrun 3 finally appears, that blue sky might just look a little darker.
UK Resistance: The Hits Collection
1. A Very Shy Man Took Some Photos of Booth Babes At Game Convention
"This is what happens when loads of men who work on an industrial estate all year get given a budget to attend a trade show." UKR was always amazing when it came to the booth babes, the favourite click-spinner on every low-rent website.
The captions to each photo in this story have the ring of truth that comes from experience. "Don't want to lift the camera up too much, or someone might think you're actually taking a photograph." We put it to Cutlack that he is that Very Shy Man (not literally), and he brazenly confessed.
"I am that man. Standing a bit too far away through fear of getting too close. The comfortable fantasy world would disintegrate in a second were she to make eye contact or ask if I would like a flyer. I'm probably not that man any more, though, as I've learned, at the age of 37, a few rudimentary social skills. And how to hide cameras better."
EA had this one coming. In the dark days of 2004 the Need for Speed series was ideas-poor as sales-poor, and one of the absolute worst turns it took was as a 'ghetto' racer.
This update utterly crushes one of the callowest brand extensions of our time. Suffice to say, "If you ain't don't be gettin dis you is a GAY innit!" If you did get it, it's never too late to add a digit to the NFS Underground 2 suicide pact.
3. There Is Only One Game of 2006
Unusually, this is a sweet one - UKR's tour shows why Animal Crossing DS is best. With the enthusiasm of a kid swapping stickers, it goes through collection after collection and place after place before encapsulating what it is that makes this game special:
"Animal Crossing is just a simple little thing you have and do every day. It's like your kettle. It's not as exciting as your new LCD TV or your Sky+ box. It's simple, but you'd be f***ed without it."
UKR also provides a review under the GNU Free Documentation License to allow other websites to spread the word, AND patiently explains what score to give it for slower critics. Perhaps the classic UKR update – and certainly the most popular. See also: the best review of Ninja Gaiden Black ever.