The History of The Sims
Tiny happy people.
The Sims 2, it turns out, was actually a "paedophile's paradise" and gaming's "latest dirty little secret". He even declared it worse than GTA: San Andreas, which is rare praise indeed from one so versed in the gutters of gaming. The reason for this outrage? The cheeky blurred pixels that cover up The Sims when they bathe or go to the toilet. Using a "simple code" from the Internet, Thompson alleged, it was possible to view the Sims in their foul unblurred state - "including nipples, penises, labia, and pubic hair".
Absolute poppycock, retorted EA, before going on to insert some asterisks in the bit that said cock just in case. "If someone with an extreme amount of expertise and time were to remove the pixels," said the enormous corporation, "they would see that the Sims have no genitals. They appear like Ken and Barbie." Having confused the work of unauthorised software mods with actual game code, Thompson threw one last jab claiming that EA was "co-operating, gleefully, with the mod community to turn Sims 2 into a porn offering" before resuming the important business of ringing Rockstar's doorbell and then running away.
All of which was almost enough to overshadow the console rejig of The Sims 2, which landed in October 2005 on PS2, Xbox, GameCube, DS, GBA and PSP. And also mobile phones. Once again, the slightly hobbled freeform gameplay was propped up with a mission-based story game, though it wasn't enough to change the general perception that the console Sims was always going to be a poor cousin to the real thing on the PC. "This isn't a conversion per se," we reckoned when we clapped eyes on it, "but rather a console-specific interpretation of a markedly more sophisticated original release. It's a 'lite' version with the basic form and functions of its PC peer, but palpably less substance." Those plumping for the handheld versions got a rather more unusual experience, with an even more heavily mission-based game that revolved around the fictional TV show, Strangetown.
Apart from the obligatory expansions, all went quiet on the Sims front for a few years until 2007 brought the first major offshoot from the series. During the build-up to the launch of The Sims 2, Maxis dangled the tantalising proposition that it was working towards what it hoped would be the world's first user-generated interactive sitcom. The Sims Stories games took the series closer to this goal than ever before, while also openly acknowledging the game's casual audience. Designed for short bursts of play, and optimised to work on laptops, the games shunt the freeform gameplay to the end and instead focus on scripted stories that are advanced by meeting the "needs" of the lead character. Skewing towards the fluffy end of the romantic comedy scale, Life Stories kicked the series off in February 2007, followed by Pet Stories in June, with Castaway Stories rounding out the trilogy in January 2008.
Of course, while The Sims had been busily plugging away getting girls and wimmins and old people and priests to enjoy gaming, the whole "casual" gaming phenomena had cunningly taken over the world. The marriage betwixt Sims and Wii was therefore something of a foregone conclusion, and so it came to pass that MySims, a chibi-flavoured reboot of the series, arrived in September 2007. Given a cute town and tasked with filling it with cute Sims by fixing things up in a cute way, it takes more inspiration from the likes of Animal Crossing than its own ancestors but all the better for its cross-pollination. "MySims is pretty much perfect for what it is," said Keza, after wallowing in its luxurious cute pelt. "At once accessible and complex, kid-friendly and adult-pleasing, and full of personality, MySims is an excellent and original idea that's well-suited to the console." That leaves just The Sims Castaway - released last October on PS2, Wii, DS and PSP - as the final sandwich on the Sims shelf. A well-intentioned attempt to weld a traditional adventure game onto the Sims framework, it floundered because it was "undeniably patchy and full of scrappy design decisions". At least, that's what Dan Whitehead said - and I've always found him to be a remarkably insightful and impressively-proportioned fellow. Great dancer, too.
Which leads us to The Sims 3. What do we know about this impending behemoth? Well, we know that there'll be an inventory system so Sims will be able to carry objects from one location to another. We know that there'll be a "buff" system which will grant mood boosts when a Sim hits certain emotional peaks. We know that, while there won't be a multiplayer aspect, Sims will be uploaded to the Internet so others can sample your creations, Mii-style. And we know that much is being made of the fact that the invisible walls that hemmed in previous Sims neighbourhoods should be a thing of the past, with a seamless Sims world growing through expansion packs the lofty ambition. "You can imagine a Sims country which you could just live your life in," said producer Rod Humble. And he's right. You can.
See whether he was hinting at something in our preview of The Sims 3. We don't look back for nothing.