Speedball is back from the dead, but don't get too excited
I scream, I scream.
Perhaps some games are better left in the past. After all, many are born from the technological limitations and desires of the time. They shine brightly, usually because there's nothing else like them around. The problem comes when you take a game from that era and try to make it work somewhere else. That's when things start to go awry.
Case in point: Rebellion's new Speedball game, which just launched in Steam early access. This is a series that's remembered fondly from the late 80s and early 90s - a violent blend of handball and hockey that has teams of grizzled, padded players beat each other to a pulp as they try to score goals. It's like Mad Max does sports; it's grey and dystopian, brutal and uncaring. Can you survive the league and even win it?
And of course, it was perfect for the games machines of the time. You ran up and down the 2D field, because games didn't do 3D, mashing buttons to flatten other players and sling a ball around while avoiding them flattening you. I think you only ever pressed one button, maybe two, because that's all machines had back then, and it's all the game needed. It was simple, punchy, and memorable, and that's why I was excited to see it come back to life again now. But the new game doesn't really work.
It works in the sense that you can play it, although being in early access some important chunks of the experience are still missing. For example, there's no campaign mode yet, so you can't manage a team and try and win a league, which I was particularly miffed about. But you can play offline against the computer, and you can play games against other people online, if you can find anyone to play with.
Where things start to fall apart, however, is how this once firmly 2D, top-down experience has been translated into 3D, leaving it stranded somewhere between wanting to be Speedball of old while also attempting to be something new. You still play it in the same way: you still rampage around a small arena trying to throw a ball into the opponents' goal while stopping them doing the same to you. It's violent, it's not particularly complicated - it's the Speedball you remember.
However, in wanting to present itself as modern and 3D, it now also has zoomed-in player-cam goal celebrations and replays, where you finger-gun and flex for your audience, which feels tonally strange. The first game was bleak and dour, whereas this is showy and elaborate. Its 3D character models have also been drawn in a smoother, brighter, more colourful style, probably because that's more readable, but it's again, a tonal screech away from the iconic grayscale and pixelated presentation of old.
What's even more jarring is that its new 3D visuals don't feel aligned with its moment-to-moment action any more. If anything, they feel fundamentally opposed. I don't expect the concept of Speedball to suddenly evolve 30 years overnight, of course, but games can do so much more now. Think of the difference between old football games like Sensible Soccer versus the latest EA Sports FC, for instance. That's the kind of advancement we've been trained to expect over the years, and while I realise the resources behind Rebellion's first early access game wouldn't even register on something like EA's annual balance sheet, this latest iteration of Speedball feels almost laughably old-fashioned.
You feel it when you approach the opponents' goal but can't do anything more sophisticated than charge a basic shot and choose a direction - a move that's almost always saved by the goalkeeper. It's as if you're still confined to two dimensions even though you can see the game running in three. The only consistent way I've found to beat a goalkeeper is running another player in front of my shooter, who blocks the shot the goalkeeper has now dived to save, thereby leaving the goal open - ie. in exploiting a loophole. It feels too basic, and the same feeling permeates movement and passing; some more nuance here would be nice.
Worst of all, it's lost that tight feeling of the original. Whereas the old games felt taut and responsiveness under the thumbs, the extra third dimension here brings a heavy and deathly sluggishness with it. I want Speedball to feel like playing pinball, with players and balls ricocheting around those metallic, drum-like arenas. This feels like the ball is covered in treacle. It's frustrating.
Don't get me wrong. There is some innate fun to be found here. I'm a particular fan of the new charged-up power tackle, because I've always greatly enjoyed fouling people. This move has you perform a missile-like assault in whatever direction you wish, meaning you have to predict where a player will be to land it right. Should you manage it successfully, you will wipe them out; it's very satisfying to pull off! But that's about as fun as this new game gets.
It's a shame. Speedball was a classic, and I'm sure I'm not the only one excited to see it back. Perhaps Sensible Software creator Jon Hare was right, though, when he was doing the promotional rounds for Speedball 2 HD in 2013, and when he said, "Some games don't convert to 3D very well and Speedball is one of them." Perhaps some games are just better left in the past.