Skip to main content

Golden Axe review

Just in case you missed the last 38 re-issues of it.

Dark blue icons of video game controllers on a light blue background
Image credit: Eurogamer

Say what you like about SEGA, but it certainly knows how to milk its back catalogue harder than pretty much anyone else. Released on every gaming system from the ZX Spectrum and C64 to the Wonderswan and GBA over the past 16 or so years, Golden Axe is not a game that's exactly been given a chance to build up dewy-eyed nostalgia for. Seemingly every few months, this tired old hackandslash is ported to yet another format, and we're given the task of re-running through this 1989 arcade 'classic'. Makoto Uchida must have laughed until milk ran out of his nostrils when he found out about its arrival on Xbox Live Arcade. Coming soon to digital watches...

Peeping through the vines of this overgrown jungle of retro exploitation, you can just about make out what was once considered an impressive and important title. Back in 1989, the game's impact was huge for many reasons. For starters, it looked brilliant, with three big, bold, diverse characters in Gilius Thunderhead, Ax Battler and Tyris Flare to choose from, each with their own strengths and weakness and spectacularly destructive magic attacks. Unleashing these for the first time was thrilling.

In game, you'd have even bigger foes to dispatch, with relentless but simple clobbering violence, comedy finishing moves and the appearance of gigantic tail-swishing, fire-breathing creatures on the way to defeating Death Adder. The icing on the cake was, of course, co-operative two player mode. For a few quick sessions, this, along with Capcom's Final Fight, represented the primary wave of arcade entertainment back in the day and made you all fuzzy inside. It was brash, exciting, juvenile and uncomplicated. No wonder it did well.

Double the fun, double the cash

The chuckling arms-folded animations made you want to smack them EXTRA HARD for their insolence.

What was reasonably good fun in single player was utterly transformed by the benefits of playing with a mate. In short, some might observe that the game was cynically designed to basically require two players in order to play it properly, but its raison d'etre was to extract maximum coinage from arcade visitors, so you can hardly blame SEGA for that. This was its stock in trade at the time.

Inevitably, translated for the home systems of the time, something was immediately lost. Not just a few frames of animation here and there, but the 'shall I, shan't I?' dilemma of pumping more coins in to see the game to its conclusion. When a home version just lets you continue indefinitely with no penalty whatsoever, you might lose interest - and that's Golden Axe in a nutshell: a game that isn't built to stand up to repeat play. As such, bashing, walloping and boofing your way through all nine stages of the arcade original takes all of about 15 minutes.

Converted with typically faithful aplomb, you can't ask for more as far as the standard of the conversion to Xbox Live Arcade goes. As you'd expect, the game's exactly the same as it was back then, right down to the front end, character select screen, audio intro and sound effects. The simple controls work exactly as they should, and you can even turn on rapid fire if you'd rather just hold down the button to attack.

Improve your gamerscore in in minutes a day!

The little-known sport of orc throwing was big in those days.

As ever, some spurious 'achievements' have been tacked on to offer a degree of incentive to play it all the way through, but you'll scalp half of them without even really trying during your first attempt. Demonstrating the utterly random nature of what warrants an 'achievement' on a Live Arcade game, some of the demands, on the other hand, would require remarkable feats of endurance in a game notorious for cheating you out of your health as often as possible.

Fortunately for a game that relies on co-op to make it fun, the game lets you play locally or online, and set-up is a breeze, with no discernible lag spoiling the occasion. In addition, your final score gets posted on the worldwide leaderboard, allowing series obsessives to claim bragging rights once and for all.

Elsewhere, there are a few items of note for diehard fans. You can smooth out the chunky sprites if you want to, but the effect isn't that great. Although it's not as jarring as the effect used for Double Dragon, the truth is it doesn't really suit Golden Axe's art style to do so - keeping things in their original form might be preferable for most. Meanwhile, the ability to save your game seems unnecessary for a game as easy to romp through as this. Still, it's there if you want it.

Don't be so hard

The bony hand of fate: the legendary character selection screen.

It's impossible to be too hard on Golden Axe, though. As much as we want to give it a proper Ninja Turtles-style beating for being another vacuous title that hasn't stood the test of time, that'd be missing the point: it still represents one of a few elite '80s brawlers that people will continue to enjoy specficially because of its dumb simplicity. Like we always tend to mention in these reviews, if cost is important to you, then you can easily pick up the expanded Mega Drive version on the recently released SEGA Megadrive Collection, although, obviously, you'll miss out on the leaderboards, online co-op and Arcade authenticity.

Golden Axe, then. Big, brutish, three-button sprite-based fantasy brawler with bags of nostalgic moments and inexplicable co-op charm: Yours to buy for the 39th time for just 400 points.

6 / 10

Read this next

seductrice.net
universo-virtual.com
buytrendz.net
thisforall.net
benchpressgains.com
qthzb.com
mindhunter9.com
dwjqp1.com
secure-signup.net
ahaayy.com
tressesindia.com
puresybian.com
krpano-chs.com
cre8workshop.com
hdkino.org
peixun021.com
qz786.com
utahperformingartscenter.org
worldqrmconference.com
shangyuwh.com
eejssdfsdfdfjsd.com
playminecraftfreeonline.com
trekvietnamtour.com
your-business-articles.com
essaywritingservice10.com
hindusamaaj.com
joggingvideo.com
wandercoups.com
wormblaster.net
tongchengchuyange0004.com
internetknowing.com
breachurch.com
peachesnginburlesque.com
dataarchitectoo.com
clientfunnelformula.com
30pps.com
cherylroll.com
ks2252.com
prowp.net
webmanicura.com
sofietsshotel.com
facetorch.com
nylawyerreview.com
apapromotions.com
shareparelli.com
goeaglepointe.com
thegreenmanpubphuket.com
karotorossian.com
publicsensor.com
taiwandefence.com
epcsur.com
southstills.com
tvtv98.com
thewellington-hotel.com
bccaipiao.com
colectoresindustrialesgs.com
shenanddcg.com
capriartfilmfestival.com
replicabreitlingsale.com
thaiamarinnewtoncorner.com
gkmcww.com
mbnkbj.com
andrewbrennandesign.com
cod54.com
luobinzhang.com
faithfirst.net
zjyc28.com
tongchengjinyeyouyue0004.com
nhuan6.com
kftz5k.com
oldgardensflowers.com
lightupthefloor.com
bahamamamas-stjohns.com
ly2818.com
905onthebay.com
fonemenu.com
notanothermovie.com
ukrainehighclassescort.com
meincmagazine.com
av-5858.com
yallerdawg.com
donkeythemovie.com
corporatehospitalitygroup.com
boboyy88.com
miteinander-lernen.com
dannayconsulting.com
officialtomsshoesoutletstore.com
forsale-amoxil-amoxicillin.net
generictadalafil-canada.net
guitarlessonseastlondon.com
lesliesrestaurants.com
mattyno9.com
nri-homeloans.com
rtgvisas-qatar.com
salbutamolventolinonline.net
sportsinjuries.info
wedsna.com
rgkntk.com
bkkmarketplace.com
zxqcwx.com
breakupprogram.com
boxcardc.com
unblockyoutubeindonesia.com
fabulousbookmark.com
beat-the.com
guatemala-sailfishing-vacations-charters.com
magie-marketing.com
kingstonliteracy.com
guitaraffinity.com
eurelookinggoodapparel.com
howtolosecheekfat.net
marioncma.org
oliviadavismusic.com
shantelcampbellrealestate.com
shopleborn13.com
topindiafree.com
v-visitors.net
djjky.com
053hh.com
originbluei.com
baucishotel.com
33kkn.com
intrinsiqresearch.com
mariaescort-kiev.com
mymaguk.com
sponsored4u.com
crimsonclass.com
bataillenavale.com
searchtile.com
ze-stribrnych-struh.com
zenithalhype.com
modalpkv.com
bouisset-lafforgue.com
useupload.com
37r.net
autoankauf-muenster.com
bantinbongda.net
bilgius.com
brabustermagazine.com
indigrow.org
miicrosofts.net
mysmiletravel.com
selinasims.com
spellcubesapp.com
usa-faction.com
hypoallergenicdogsnames.com
dailyupdatez.com
foodphotographyreviews.com
cricutcom-setup.com
chprowebdesign.com
katyrealty-kanepa.com
tasramar.com
bilgipinari.org
four-am.com
indiarepublicday.com
inquick-enbooks.com
iracmpi.com
kakaschoenen.com
lsm99flash.com
nana1255.com
ngen-niagara.com
technwzs.com
virtualonlinecasino1345.com
wallpapertop.net
casino-natali.com
iprofit-internet.com
denochemexicana.com
eventhalfkg.com
medcon-taiwan.com
life-himawari.com
myriamshomes.com
nightmarevue.com
healthandfitnesslives.com
androidnews-jp.com
allstarsru.com
bestofthebuckeyestate.com
bestofthefirststate.com
bestwireless7.com
britsmile.com
declarationintermittent.com
findhereall.com
jingyou888.com
lsm99deal.com
lsm99galaxy.com
moozatech.com
nuagh.com
patliyo.com
philomenamagikz.net
rckouba.net
saturnunipessoallda.com
tallahasseefrolics.com
thematurehardcore.net
totalenvironment-inthatquietearth.com
velislavakaymakanova.com
vermontenergetic.com
kakakpintar.com
begorgeouslady.com
1800birks4u.com
2wheelstogo.com
6strip4you.com
bigdata-world.net
emailandco.net
gacapal.com
jharpost.com
krishnaastro.com
lsm99credit.com
mascalzonicampani.com
sitemapxml.org
thecityslums.net
topagh.com
flairnetwebdesign.com
rajasthancarservices.com
bangkaeair.com
beneventocoupon.com
noternet.org
oqtive.com
smilebrightrx.com
decollage-etiquette.com
1millionbestdownloads.com
7658.info
bidbass.com
devlopworldtech.com
digitalmarketingrajkot.com
fluginfo.net
naqlafshk.com
passion-decouverte.com
playsirius.com
spacceleratorintl.com
stikyballs.com
top10way.com
yokidsyogurt.com
zszyhl.com
16firthcrescent.com
abogadolaboralistamd.com
apk2wap.com
aromacremeria.com
banparacard.com
bosmanraws.com
businessproviderblog.com
caltonosa.com
calvaryrevivalchurch.org
chastenedsoulwithabrokenheart.com
cheminotsgardcevennes.com
cooksspot.com
cqxzpt.com
deesywig.com
deltacartoonmaps.com
despixelsetdeshommes.com
duocoracaobrasileiro.com
fareshopbd.com
goodpainspills.com
hemendekor.com
kobisitecdn.com
makaigoods.com
mgs1454.com
piccadillyresidences.com
radiolaondafresca.com
rubendorf.com
searchengineimprov.com
sellmyhrvahome.com
shugahouseessentials.com
sonihullquad.com
subtractkilos.com
valeriekelmansky.com
vipasdigitalmarketing.com
voolivrerj.com
zeelonggroup.com
1015southrockhill.com
10x10b.com
111-online-casinos.com
191cb.com
3665arpentunitd.com
aitesonics.com
bag-shokunin.com
brightotech.com
communication-digitale-services.com
covoakland.org
dariaprimapack.com
freefortniteaccountss.com
gatebizglobal.com
global1entertainmentnews.com
greatytene.com
hiroshiwakita.com
iktodaypk.com
jahatsakong.com
meadowbrookgolfgroup.com
newsbharati.net
platinumstudiosdesign.com
slotxogamesplay.com
strikestaruk.com
trucosdefortnite.com
ufabetrune.com
weddedtowhitmore.com
12940brycecanyonunitb.com
1311dietrichoaks.com
2monarchtraceunit303.com
601legendhill.com
850elaine.com
adieusolasomade.com
andora-ke.com
bestslotxogames.com
cannagomcallen.com
endlesslyhot.com
iestpjva.com
ouqprint.com
pwmaplefest.com
qtylmr.com
rb88betting.com
buscadogues.com
1007macfm.com
born-wild.com
growthinvests.com
promocode-casino.com
proyectogalgoargentina.com
wbthompson-art.com
whitemountainwheels.com
7thavehvl.com
developmethis.com
funkydogbowties.com
travelodgegrandjunction.com
gao-town.com
globalmarketsuite.com
blogshippo.com
hdbka.com
proboards67.com
outletonline-michaelkors.com
kalkis-research.com
thuthuatit.net
buckcash.com
hollistercanada.com
docterror.com
asadart.com
vmayke.org
erwincomputers.com
dirimart.org
okkii.com
loteriasdecehegin.com
mountanalog.com
healingtaobritain.com
ttxmonitor.com
nwordpress.com
11bolabonanza.com