Coming Attractions: Sports
Football, golf, tennis, curling...
Time to take a look at some of the most promising sports games coming your way in 2008. We've included fighters in this list, as there are too few of them to warrant a separate article, and so you have something to complain about in the comments. But not racers, because there are bloody loads of those.
Whether you like football, golf, boxing or professional bull riding, there's something for everyone. Especially if you like football or golf. Read on for more.
FIFA Street 3
The latest instalment in EA's critically derided and commercially successful FIFA Street series is due out on Xbox 360, PS3 and DS on 22nd February. It features "environments that pulsate to the music", according to the press release.
There are more than 250 footballers to choose from, divided into four categories - Tricksters, Enforcers, Playmakers and Finishers. They're highly caricaturised versions of famous players including Ronaldinho, Gattuso and PEOPLE'S HERO PETER CROUCH, who all appear on the box.
The control system has been simplified so it's now easier to pull off fancy moves. EA assures us that while the game will be more accessible to casual gamers, there's still plenty of challenge for proper ones.
Here's hoping FIFA Street 3 is an improvement over the second instalment, which Kristan said "houses a fun game of trickery that feels quite unique" but has "a relationship to football which is cosmetic at best".
Peter Crouch is 6'7".
Football's just a branch of science: Why don't they do a Jossy's Giants game? Eurogamer is reliably informed Jossy himself would be willing to sign over his likeness and voice for the right price (about 14 pounds).
Top Spin 3
The first Top Spin game was great. The second, as Kristan reported, was "a fine tennis title and a game you'll have a lot of fun with off or online, but one that does little to justify its price tag, and is little more than a high-def update of the original".
So will the third Top Spin game take the series in a new direction? Not judging by the press release, which begins the list of new features with the phrase "dynamic weather changes" followed by "evolutionary player visuals".
However, we're also promised the most comprehensive online options yet. And there will be new ways to customise your player, including "free-form body sculpting, make-up and tattoos".
More excitingly, Top Spin 3 will mark the series' debut on Wii. It's about time we had a new tennis game for Nintendo's console, Wii Sports is so Y2K6. How it'll match up against RealPlay Tennis, also out this year, is impossible to guess.
Top Spin 3 is coming to Wii, DS, PS3 and Xbox 360 this spring.
Ace in the hole: Remember when Kylie got her crack out in the name of tennis? To think you gave that up, Martinez. I'm glad Richard Gere killed you in that film.
Pro Evolution Soccer 2008
The PS3, PS2, Xbox 360 and PC versions of Pro Evo 2008 may already be out, but DS and PSP games are yet to arrive. Some time this quarter, reckons Konami.
The PSP version is said to be similar to the PS2 game. There's a wide range of tournaments and leagues and the all-new World Tour mode, where you complete a series of challenges around the globe. You can swap Master League information between the PSP and PS2 games, along with League, World Tour and Cup Mode data.
PES 2008 for DS will feature Exhibition, Penalty Shoot-Out and Konami Cup modes. There's also a tweaked version of World Tour where you face off with international teams.
If everyone's got a copy of the game up to four players can take part in multiplayer matches. One-on-one battles are also possible with just one copy. You can trade players wirelessly and collect coins to build up your team.
While you're waiting, why not read Martin's review of Pro Evo 2008 on the big consoles.
Advice for girls: Expressing an interest in football may seem like a good way to attract boys. However, getting drunk and shouting "Do another goal!" every time PEOPLE'S HERO PETER CROUCH comes on screen may expose you as a fraud.
Professional Bull Riders
Just to clarify, bull riding is the classic American sport of attempting to sit on animals which are instantly enraged by people sitting on them. It's what they do down the rodeo, as in the cowboy circus not C&A's functional and fashionable range of active leisure wear from the eighties.
You might not be a big fan, but nearly 20 million Americans watched Professional Bull Riders events during 2006 - making it the fastest-growing sport in the land. And not just because lynching is on the decline.
Now Crave Entertainment is doing a videogame which lets you play as a bull rider or - wait for it - as a bull. There are ten three-round events to play through, taking place in locations such as New York, Anaheim and Atlanta. You can play as top riders such as Guilherme Marchi and Chris Shivers, or as a bull.
Professional Bull Riders is coming to Wii, Xbox 360, PS2, PSP and PC in time for the PBR World Finals, which begin in October.
Talking bulls: According to Crave boss Rob Dyer, PBR is "poised to become the next NASCAR". Here's hoping his new game isn't poised to become the next Bullseye for mobiles.