Call of Duty: Black Ops Rezurrection
Reanimated corpse.
The first of these is the spawning location, Area 51. A minor annoyance with zombies has always been how long it takes for the action to really get going: this is especially notable on maps like Nacht der Untoten, where one player can hold the fort for the first five minutes while the others go and make tea. Area 51 is an open square with a teleporter to the moon at one end which can be used almost immediately - you start, and a few seconds later the horde come crashing in, complete with Hellhounds.
It's easy to die immediately: it's easier to just hop on the teleporter and start the round proper. But you can also stick around, with your measly starting pistol and combat knife, and farm those zombies - and then go up to the moon with a massive stash of points. Only the keenest need apply, but the option's there to get straight into the action.
Once on the moon itself, things get low-gravity and low-volume. Most of the time a spacesuit is essential, which are everywhere and easily equipped - but they dull the sound effects a huge amount, giving an eerily quiet ambiance to your slaughter of endless undead.
It was while I was contemplating the word ambiance that the worst thing in the whole of Rezurrection happened - a terrible droning rawk song that was later identified as Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold started blasting out of my speakers at full volume, which of course had been turned up to compensate for the vacuum effect. This is an 'easter egg' that activates when a player on the team earns a certain achievement, and f**k you Treyarch.
The low gravity is The Moon's finest addition to zombies: it makes the best thing about Black Ops, which is clearly the running dive, even better, and is great fun to just play with; jumping over zombies with a shotgun, mid-air spins, and all the floating body parts you could ask for. Let's not mention the jump-pads, though, which should be brilliant but instead kill you: despite low gravity, large falls are still fatal.
This is a difficult map: the initial stages are simple enough to manage, but soon there are countless inlets for the ever-increasing zombies, players getting lost in the catacombs, and a monster in a space suit with your buddy's name on it. A wonderfully weird touch, these enemy spacemen look exactly like one of your teammates, except their name is taken from the host's friendlist and displayed in red; they float in an aimless way, but get close and it'll grab and headbutt you. That's not the worst of it: the teleport warps you to a random (open) location elsewhere in the base, which unless you're lucky, or have a dedicated team, means a very short and inglorious last stand.
It's a little touch, but it's a great one, and The Moon could have done with a few more of its ilk. Instead, there are just two new weapons; a Wave Gun that makes zombies vomit blood, expand and then blow up (it's hilarious!) and the Quantum Entanglement Device, which sounds great but must be the laziest 'new' content ever. It's a grenade that, once tossed, has a random effect. Well clearly a lot of effort's gone into that one: or in other words, b****cks is that a new weapon.
Despite the disappointments, The Moon is still a great addition to zombies - but is Rezurrection a good addition to Black Ops? It's tempting to weigh up the pros and cons and say the truth lies somewhere in the middle, but no: Rezurrection is a rip-off. There are only ten maps in existence for COD's zombies mode, and this re-sells the first four.
If you've never played any of these maps, obviously Rezurrection is a good deal. Thing is, at this fourth stage of DLC, who is it selling to but the super-engaged COD audience that has already played zombies to death? Activision expects, and doubtless the sales will deliver. But the COD fanbase is premium: with Rezurrection, they're being served second-hand content with a spoon of sugar, no more. It's a second-rate package.
Black Ops: Rezurrection is out now on Xbox Live. It arrives for PS3 and PC in September.