World War Too Many!
Create your own World War II game with our handy random game generator! Win a gas mask!
Quoting myself this chilly morning: "If I play another World War II game this year I will die". Probably from the shrapnel wounds caused by the exploding joypad of doom, committing its own furious act of vengeance in protest at the increasingly spectacular lack of imagination displayed by the ideas men in the games industry.
But rather than get all huffy about the prospect of playing another 27 WW2 games next Spring, we thought we'd drum up some Dunkirk spirit of our own, and throw some ideas into the pot so that game devs around the world can make sure that the next-generation of consoles can launch with at least seven World War II-themed games on day one. After all, they're just doing their duty in giving the people what they want, right?
Grand Theft Auto: We'll Fight Them On The Bitches
You may as well aim high. We're already bored with 80s and early 90s nostalgia, so let's go back to the 40s! Picture the scene: It's 1942, the war across Europe is delicately poised; Britain lives in fear as Hitler's army mounts wave after wave of aerial assaults, but the bulldog spirit remains strong. After 18 months sterling service, Private Timmy Vershotti gets kicked out of the British ground forces for stealing custard cream biscuits while sneaking into the female barracks. Disgraced, Vershotti's war seems over. Disconsolate he packs up his troubles in his old kit bag, lights a Woodbine and heads back to await the black looks back in Bow. But Timmy's reputation as an uncompromising soldier that gets results in unconventional ways attracts the attention of a renegade gang of mercenaries determined to act outside of the law and oust Hilter the 'dirty' way. After a period of proving yourself in war-torn East End London, you end up in disguise in the heartland of Hitler's empire, busting out concentration camps, performing daring air sorties and car-jacking Nazi patrols.
FIFA: Road To The World War: II
Play as all your favourite pre-WW2 teams, with faithfully recreated pre-match entertainment featuring Nazi propaganda parades in the famous Munich Olympic stadium with sickeningly healthy looking smiling blonde women, dubious match results from the cunningly realistic ChEAt-em(TM) referee AI routines, proper studs-up tackles just like your Granddad told you about, amusing shorts, realistic damage modelling and a fantastic attention to detail right down a 150,000 all-standing crowd with every member looking impoverished and wearing a hat. And the players even salute when they score. Bonus unlockable mode include Escape To Victory footy match, complete with uncannily lifelike digitised Pele and Sly 'he's too short to be a keeper' Stallone.
Conquest Europe
What do you mean "that's already a game"?
Dead Or Alive: Omaha Beach Volleyball
Quite literally Dead, or, indeed, Alive, as you guide a duo of dainty peaches and cream wartime lovelies in their ill-fitting bathing costumes as they play a jolly game of Beach Volleyball with live grenades while the Allied Forces perform their heroic and daring beach-landing exercise. Dance a ballerina of bullet-time dodges between the hot lead or we won't meet again! Features cute and sexy outfits including full leather stormtrooper garb and thigh length boots!
GT Concept: Munich-Paris 1941
Ride Hitler's freshly built Autobahn routes around Nazi Germany in a selection of authentically modelled Nazi concept cars, vans and even motorbikes, taking in the sights into occupied France as you race up to speeds approaching 70 miles per hour! Bonus unlockable machine gun mode, allowing gamers to truly feel what it was like to instil fear into your populace. No online play.
Half Life Zero: No longer a Free-man
Valve goes back in time to an alternative European 1940s where Nazi time travel has allowed the Xen forces to collaborate on a plan to dominate the entire Cosmos. Still in the formative years of this terrifying alliance, the Axis of death is wreaking terror across the world with a race of industrial terror machines and an iron rule. Crushed under the heel of this oppressive regime, US freedom fighter Ged Freeman is fighting for his very existence, locked away in a terrifying Eastern European concentration camp, and singled out by his oppressors as the key to the future rule of the world.
Medal Of Honor: Dogs Of War
Europe 1942. These are desperate hours for the Allied forces as the Nazi canine war machine (RuffWaffe) bears its teeth across a devastated European landscape. With the British on the brink, Lt. William Holt of the OSS is sent on a secret mission by order of the President of the United States. On his own, or with his squad, Holt is pivotal in helping to turn the tide in four of the most crucial battles leading to victory in Europe. As with the original Medal of Honor, producers sought counsel from numerous expert canine sources (including archive material from the late Barbara Woodhouse) to make certain the game is historically accurate and as realistic as possible. The EA LA development team continues to work closely with the Congressional Medal of Honor Society and Battersea Dogs Home to ensure that Medal of Honor: Dogs of War reflects the ideals and integrity of the lives and behaviour of real live dogs to ensure the authenticity of the experience.
Metal Gear Solid: Gott Im Himmel!
In the days before codecs were invented, there was Morse Code. The world's first stealth-action game with the dialogue entirely in rapid beeps gives players skills they never thought they had in them as Ricardo Von Snake, a Dutch freedom fighter for the Allies uses pioneering stealth tactics and code breaking skills to undermine the Nazi war effort. Find out just where Solid Snake got his trademark good looks, mullet and bandana fashion tips from in this epic prelude to the series that gave the world stealth action.
Star Wars Episode Minus 2: The Dambusters
The pre-space years telling the grandiose tale of how the Skywalker family got their name and earned their place in legend thanks to the heroic flying skills of Frank 'Sky' Walker, the rookie US pilot that turned the tide of the Second World War in the favour of the US. Aerial combat has never been so improbable!
Well, can you think up any better ideas? The best one wins our prized WW2 gas/gimp mask, courtesy of THQ!