Skip to main content

What's New? (5th August)

A cautionary tale.

Dark blue icons of video game controllers on a light blue background
Image credit: Eurogamer

Kristan banged hard on the door. There was no reply. He tried again. "Tom? Are you in there?" he shouted.

No response. Putting his weight against the door, he found it gave easily; it was unlocked. Inside, he couldn't move.

Empty Coke cans were strewn everywhere; a few stained booklets were stacked in a neat pile next to the bathroom door - game manuals, half of them crudely annotated. He picked one up. It was damp and mouldy, but one phrase stood out on inside-cover: 'Groundbreaking AI'. Next to it was some sort of memo. 'Wall-breaking, actually. Note to self: must expense new Dual Shock.' Kristan half-grinned, but stifled it.

A pile of empty take-away boxes were littered further up the hall, swarmed by clouds of dust from the floor that clearly hadn't been Hoovered in weeks; and there was an overpowering musk emanating from the bedroom. This was ridiculous. This was inhuman.

Yep, pretty much as expected.

"Tooooooom?" he tried again, venturing toward the curtain that separated hall from lounge.

As soon as it was drawn, he saw Tom slumped on the couch, eyes closed, Xbox pad humming on his chest. His first instinct was that he'd dozed off, but then he glanced over at the TV. The screen had dimmed through lack of use and dust build-up, but if he looked hard enough he could almost make out the tall buildings, tech-demo reflections and telltale signs of...

"Oh no."

He raced over to the couch and untangled the Xbox pad cords from Tom's wrists, and kicked the nearby Xbox hard so the power cord flew out of the wall and the picture disappeared instantly.

Suddenly Tom arched up from the couch making a horrible "HUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRR!" noise as he struggled to inhale. His eyes were wide but manic, and his hands trembled as they tried to grip the armrests.

Kristan grabbed him, and held him fast. "You're going to be okay mate. It's fine. You'll be okay. Everything's all right now," he cooed soothingly. Tom's heart rate started to slow back to normal. He sat up fuller now, and surveyed his surroundings, before reaching under the couch and gingerly extracting the last remaining can of Diet Coke from a torn-apart multi-pack.

He lay back, sipped his drink and stared up at Kristan, by now back on his feet. Kristan returned his stare with a look of pity.

"But why Tom? Why would you do it?"

"Because..."

"Of all the irresponsible, devil-may-care things you could do!"

"But..."

"How can we ever trust you on your own again?"

"But..."

"How many times have I warned you about what could happen?"

"But... there was nothing else to play."

Kristan paused, as if considering this, then his pity and understanding gave way to something darker; more furious. If the curtains had been drawn you might have seen his eyes turn a shade of red. He felt his pulse quicken and he started forward, almost aggressively, as he struggled to withhold his full indignant fury.

"Yes," he started, struggling to contain his wrath, "but DRIVER BLOODY THREE!?"

24 Hours Later

You know, this week's update very nearly didn't happen. Oh, wait, you do know. Anyway, there isn't much out. I've not played most of the stuff that is. Here in the UK, there's so little to get worked up about that there's no point even specifying to the usual degree. Aurora Watching (PC) is a terrible little Metal Gear clone with more problems than most; and everything else will be buried at the back of your local games shop before the weekend's up, if they even bought any in the first place.

The news is slightly more upbeat over the pond, where BloodRayne 2's PC port joins the console versions are a long delay, but it'll be a while before we can tell you anything about that. Meanwhile Ubisoft's latest Ghost Recon 2 expansion, Summit Strike (the sort of game that only comes about when a design meeting gets lazy, e.g. "I dunno, let's call it, er, sommat Strike or summing?"), is apparently quite healthy, and should be out here in a few weeks' time.

Before then, you might want to consider turning to the games of yester-month for inspiration. God of War, Resident Evil 4, Ratchet & Clank 3, City of Heroes - there's bound to be something that you missed out on at the time and said you'd try when a quiet spell came around. Well, now's the time. Now is definitely the time.

Right, if you'll excuse me I'm going to, er, put something in my Xbox. (Don't tell Kristan.)

PAL Releases

  • Animaniacs: Lights, Camera, Action! (DS)
  • Aurora Watching (PC)
  • Flying Club (PC)
  • Herbie Fully Loaded (GBA)
  • International Cricket Caption Ashes Year 2005 (PC)
  • Steel Empire (GBA)

Key US Releases

  • BloodRayne 2 (PC)
  • Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon 2: Summit Strike (Xbox)

Read this next

seductrice.net
universo-virtual.com
buytrendz.net
thisforall.net
benchpressgains.com
qthzb.com
mindhunter9.com
dwjqp1.com
secure-signup.net
ahaayy.com
tressesindia.com
puresybian.com
krpano-chs.com
cre8workshop.com
hdkino.org
peixun021.com
qz786.com
utahperformingartscenter.org
worldqrmconference.com
shangyuwh.com
eejssdfsdfdfjsd.com
playminecraftfreeonline.com
trekvietnamtour.com
your-business-articles.com
essaywritingservice10.com
hindusamaaj.com
joggingvideo.com
wandercoups.com
wormblaster.net
tongchengchuyange0004.com
internetknowing.com
breachurch.com
peachesnginburlesque.com
dataarchitectoo.com
clientfunnelformula.com
30pps.com
cherylroll.com
ks2252.com
prowp.net
webmanicura.com
sofietsshotel.com
facetorch.com
nylawyerreview.com
apapromotions.com
shareparelli.com
goeaglepointe.com
thegreenmanpubphuket.com
karotorossian.com
publicsensor.com
taiwandefence.com
epcsur.com
southstills.com
tvtv98.com
thewellington-hotel.com
bccaipiao.com
colectoresindustrialesgs.com
shenanddcg.com
capriartfilmfestival.com
replicabreitlingsale.com
thaiamarinnewtoncorner.com
gkmcww.com
mbnkbj.com
andrewbrennandesign.com
cod54.com
luobinzhang.com
faithfirst.net
zjyc28.com
tongchengjinyeyouyue0004.com
nhuan6.com
kftz5k.com
oldgardensflowers.com
lightupthefloor.com
bahamamamas-stjohns.com
ly2818.com
905onthebay.com
fonemenu.com
notanothermovie.com
ukrainehighclassescort.com
meincmagazine.com
av-5858.com
yallerdawg.com
donkeythemovie.com
corporatehospitalitygroup.com
boboyy88.com
miteinander-lernen.com
dannayconsulting.com
officialtomsshoesoutletstore.com
forsale-amoxil-amoxicillin.net
generictadalafil-canada.net
guitarlessonseastlondon.com
lesliesrestaurants.com
mattyno9.com
nri-homeloans.com
rtgvisas-qatar.com
salbutamolventolinonline.net
sportsinjuries.info
wedsna.com
rgkntk.com
bkkmarketplace.com
zxqcwx.com
breakupprogram.com
boxcardc.com
unblockyoutubeindonesia.com
fabulousbookmark.com
beat-the.com
guatemala-sailfishing-vacations-charters.com
magie-marketing.com
kingstonliteracy.com
guitaraffinity.com
eurelookinggoodapparel.com
howtolosecheekfat.net
marioncma.org
oliviadavismusic.com
shantelcampbellrealestate.com
shopleborn13.com
topindiafree.com
v-visitors.net
djjky.com
053hh.com
originbluei.com
baucishotel.com
33kkn.com
intrinsiqresearch.com
mariaescort-kiev.com
mymaguk.com
sponsored4u.com
crimsonclass.com
bataillenavale.com
searchtile.com
ze-stribrnych-struh.com
zenithalhype.com
modalpkv.com
bouisset-lafforgue.com
useupload.com
37r.net
autoankauf-muenster.com
bantinbongda.net
bilgius.com
brabustermagazine.com
indigrow.org
miicrosofts.net
mysmiletravel.com
selinasims.com
spellcubesapp.com
usa-faction.com
hypoallergenicdogsnames.com
dailyupdatez.com
foodphotographyreviews.com
cricutcom-setup.com
chprowebdesign.com
katyrealty-kanepa.com
tasramar.com
bilgipinari.org
four-am.com
indiarepublicday.com
inquick-enbooks.com
iracmpi.com
kakaschoenen.com
lsm99flash.com
nana1255.com
ngen-niagara.com
technwzs.com
virtualonlinecasino1345.com
wallpapertop.net
casino-natali.com
iprofit-internet.com
denochemexicana.com
eventhalfkg.com
medcon-taiwan.com
life-himawari.com
myriamshomes.com
nightmarevue.com
healthandfitnesslives.com
androidnews-jp.com
allstarsru.com
bestofthebuckeyestate.com
bestofthefirststate.com
bestwireless7.com
britsmile.com
declarationintermittent.com
findhereall.com
jingyou888.com
lsm99deal.com
lsm99galaxy.com
moozatech.com
nuagh.com
patliyo.com
philomenamagikz.net
rckouba.net
saturnunipessoallda.com
tallahasseefrolics.com
thematurehardcore.net
totalenvironment-inthatquietearth.com
velislavakaymakanova.com
vermontenergetic.com
kakakpintar.com
begorgeouslady.com
1800birks4u.com
2wheelstogo.com
6strip4you.com
bigdata-world.net
emailandco.net
gacapal.com
jharpost.com
krishnaastro.com
lsm99credit.com
mascalzonicampani.com
sitemapxml.org
thecityslums.net
topagh.com
flairnetwebdesign.com
rajasthancarservices.com
bangkaeair.com
beneventocoupon.com
noternet.org
oqtive.com
smilebrightrx.com
decollage-etiquette.com
1millionbestdownloads.com
7658.info
bidbass.com
devlopworldtech.com
digitalmarketingrajkot.com
fluginfo.net
naqlafshk.com
passion-decouverte.com
playsirius.com
spacceleratorintl.com
stikyballs.com
top10way.com
yokidsyogurt.com
zszyhl.com
16firthcrescent.com
abogadolaboralistamd.com
apk2wap.com
aromacremeria.com
banparacard.com
bosmanraws.com
businessproviderblog.com
caltonosa.com
calvaryrevivalchurch.org
chastenedsoulwithabrokenheart.com
cheminotsgardcevennes.com
cooksspot.com
cqxzpt.com
deesywig.com
deltacartoonmaps.com
despixelsetdeshommes.com
duocoracaobrasileiro.com
fareshopbd.com
goodpainspills.com
hemendekor.com
kobisitecdn.com
makaigoods.com
mgs1454.com
piccadillyresidences.com
radiolaondafresca.com
rubendorf.com
searchengineimprov.com
sellmyhrvahome.com
shugahouseessentials.com
sonihullquad.com
subtractkilos.com
valeriekelmansky.com
vipasdigitalmarketing.com
voolivrerj.com
zeelonggroup.com
1015southrockhill.com
10x10b.com
111-online-casinos.com
191cb.com
3665arpentunitd.com
aitesonics.com
bag-shokunin.com
brightotech.com
communication-digitale-services.com
covoakland.org
dariaprimapack.com
freefortniteaccountss.com
gatebizglobal.com
global1entertainmentnews.com
greatytene.com
hiroshiwakita.com
iktodaypk.com
jahatsakong.com
meadowbrookgolfgroup.com
newsbharati.net
platinumstudiosdesign.com
slotxogamesplay.com
strikestaruk.com
trucosdefortnite.com
ufabetrune.com
weddedtowhitmore.com
12940brycecanyonunitb.com
1311dietrichoaks.com
2monarchtraceunit303.com
601legendhill.com
850elaine.com
adieusolasomade.com
andora-ke.com
bestslotxogames.com
cannagomcallen.com
endlesslyhot.com
iestpjva.com
ouqprint.com
pwmaplefest.com
qtylmr.com
rb88betting.com
buscadogues.com
1007macfm.com
born-wild.com
growthinvests.com
promocode-casino.com
proyectogalgoargentina.com
wbthompson-art.com
whitemountainwheels.com
7thavehvl.com
developmethis.com
funkydogbowties.com
travelodgegrandjunction.com
gao-town.com
globalmarketsuite.com
blogshippo.com
hdbka.com
proboards67.com
outletonline-michaelkors.com
kalkis-research.com
thuthuatit.net
buckcash.com
hollistercanada.com
docterror.com
asadart.com
vmayke.org
erwincomputers.com
dirimart.org
okkii.com
loteriasdecehegin.com
mountanalog.com
healingtaobritain.com
ttxmonitor.com
nwordpress.com
11bolabonanza.com